


The Nth Time It Happened

by canwetalkaboutcaptainswan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 08:52:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10963851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canwetalkaboutcaptainswan/pseuds/canwetalkaboutcaptainswan
Summary: This is the collection of times that Captain Killian-can’t-get-enough-of-his-daughter Jones wakes up in the middle of the night because he’s just too stinkin in love with his little girl. 99% non-stop Captain Swan fluff, feat Leia Swan-Jones. I've posted on tumblr before, but want to put all my fics in one place and am finally getting around to it!





	1. The First Time It Happened

The first time it happens, Emma wakes up in a panic. Her arm stretches across the bed to find Killian’s side empty, her hand groping at nothing. Her heart races as her eyes adjust to the darkness enveloping their room while she jumps out of bed. There’s only one place he could be, and if she doesn’t find him there she knows she’ll combust with fear. She races down the hallway.

She exhales loudly in the doorway to 6-week-old Leia’s room, prompting her husband to look up from his daughter’s face to behold his wife’s. Killian is in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, Leia fast asleep in his protective arms.

“You scared the hell out of me,” Emma scolds, crossing her own arms and entering the room. “Did she wake up? How come you didn’t wake me up?” That was their usual routine. Killian had the ears of a bat when it came to his daughter, and he always woke Emma whenever Leia woke so they could tend to her together.

“I’m sorry, love,” he whispers, a finger of his tracing lines on Leia’s pink cheek. “No, she didn’t wake. I did. Couldn’t stop thinking about her.”

Emma’s expression softens, and she tiptoes a little closer to her two favourite people. “Room for me?” she asks quietly.

Killian shifts Leia to one arm, inviting Emma to join them in the rocker. She climbs onto his lap willingly, and he settles Leia against Emma’s chest, effectively holding both of them. Even while she knows Killian’s got an expert hold on her, Emma can’t help but curl her own arm around Leia, too, her fingers stroking the fabric that covers her round little belly. Emma’s eyes have well adjusted now and she gazes down at her little girl. **_Their_** little girl. Even after six weeks, Emma is still in perplexed awe at how perfect of a blend she is of herself and Killian. Killian’s lips, her nose. Killian’s hair, her eyes. Killian’s dramatic flare, her unending stubbornness.  

Killian breaks the silence, pulling Emma out of her reverie. “It **_scares_** me, sometimes,” he admits to her, his eyes back on Leia.

The fact that it’s the middle of the night does not hinder Emma’s ability to understand **_exactly_** what her husband means. “How much you love her? I know. Scares me, too.”

“All the while she grew inside you, I thought… ** _I thought_** I knew what it was like to love her. But now, now that she’s here, I just…it consumes my every thought. Like just now, when I woke. I couldn’t stop thinking about how badly I wanted to touch my pinkie to her little nose,” he rambles on, performing the action he’d just named. “How’s it possible to love somebody’s nose so much?”

Emma smiles so wide that the skin that borders her eyes crinkles tightly. “I thought you loved **_my_** nose?!” she says, feigning offence.

Killian grins, raising his pointer finger to boop Emma’s nose this time. “Oh, **_I do_** ,” he assures her, softly stroking her nose’s tip, “But not quite as much as I love this one.” His finger returns to Leia’s nose, and Emma strokes his knuckles.

“It’s possible,” she says slowly, returning to his earlier question, “Because that particular nose is attached to **_your kid._** And you’ll never love anyone or anything more than you love your kid. Not even your wife,” she tells him, her voice turning toward teasing at the end.

“She’s **_our_** kid,” he clarifies, pressing his lips to her temple, “And I love my wife **_very, very much._** ”

“Mmm,” Emma hums at his words, turning her face to press her lips to his gently. He raises his hand to cup her face, drawing his thumb over her jawbone. She melts into the kiss, her head spinning. He breaks it and presses his forehead to hers, breathing in her scent before looking back down at Leia.

“She looks **_exactly_** like you,” he says.

Emma just sighs. “You say that **_every single day_** , Killian.”

“Because I’ll never be over it, love. She’s your spitting image.”

“Killian, she’s got **_your_** hair. And your lips. Look at those lips.”

Killian traces Leia’s lips with his thumb. **_“So beautiful,”_** he murmurs, watching as Leia yawns in her sleep, her little mouth forming a small little O.

Emma’s breath catches at the loving expression on Killian’s face, as it so often does. There truly aren’t words to describe how much he loves his little girl. She cards her fingers through his hair. “We should really get back to bed,” she whispers.

“But she’s just so ** _precious,_** ” he argues, directing his gaze toward Leia’s sleeping features, “I quite love holding her.”

Emma rolls her eyes. **_“Oh, you don’t say,”_** she teases him.

“What’s **_that_** supposed to mean?” he asks, defensive.

Emma shakes her head playfully. “Oh, nothing. I mean, you only hold her for the majority of each day, awake or asleep, in the crook of your arm, just there…you **_never_** let my parents hold her, and even I have to **_beg_** …and you’re telling me you ** _like_** it? Never would’ve guessed.”

Killian huffs. “Aren’t I allowed to hold my own daughter, Swan?”

“Yes, of course. But you’re also allowed to let her sleep in her crib and teach her to be a nice, independent baby.”

“She likes it when I hold her,” he says, still really defensive. Emma deems this fight not one to have in the wee hours of the night.

 ** _“Of course she does,”_** Emma assures him supportively, turning her attention back to the little person in Killian’s hold. “You love that daddy of yours, don’t you, little bird? Yes, I know,” she coos to the sleeping baby, brushing her fingers over the soft mat of hair on the crown of her head, “Mummy loves him, too.”

Killian smiles, and Emma leans in to kiss his cheek, nuzzling her face there. “Okay, Daddy,” she coaxes, wiggling in his arms, “Your little princess will be calling for you soon enough. You’d best put her back so you can hold **_me_** for a change.”

Killian chuckles while Emma gets up carefully, pulling him to a stand with her. Killian leans down to press a gentle kiss to Leia’s forehead before he lowers the tiny infant into her crib. “I’ll be right down the hall, my littlest love,” he promises her, watching her little tummy rise and fall. “Mummy needs a cuddle.”

Killian threads his fingers through Emma’s, intent on finally retreating toward the door. But he’s surprised to find Emma’s feet planted in place next to Leia’s crib, his tug at her hand useless. “What is it, love?” he asks, peering down into the crib, brief panic brewing as he wonders if Emma’s found something out of place.

“Nothing,” she assures him, squeezing his hand. “I just… ** _love her._** **_I just love her.”_**

Keeping their fingers threaded, Killian wraps both of his arms around his wife, cuddling behind her and leaning his chin on her shoulder. They both watch Leia for a few minutes longer, just swaying there in front of her crib, never tiring of staring at her sweet little face. It’s such a simple, loving gesture, two parents watching over their child; but all the same, it’s one that neither of them experienced as children. And it’s for that reason that they stand, steady and proud, both determined to ensure that their daughter never has to grow up like they did.

**And that was the first time.**


	2. The Second Time It Happened

The second time it happens, Emma wakes to the sound of whispered words of endearment. “You’re so, so beautiful. But even more importantly, you’re smart. You’re so, so smart. And brave. And ** _loud,_** especially loud. You just love being loud, don’t you?” Emma snickers, propelling herself backwards towards the middle of the bed, hoping for her back to collide with her pirate’s warm, hard chest. 

She moves a few inches, but still doesn’t make contact. “You’re going to fall off the bed, pirate,” she whispers. “Why are you so far over?”

Killian ignores her. “You’re **_so special,_** darling. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you. My beautiful, sweet…” (Emma smiles, wondering what prompted her pirate to get all wordy and cheesy with her in the middle of the night.)

“….perfect love. I love you **_so, so much_** , my littlest love.”

Emma’s eyes jerk open wider. **_LITTLEST?!_**

She turns around, and contrary to her prior beliefs, Killian’s side of the bed is empty. He is not whispering loving words across the bed to her. No, no. He is whispering loving words **_to his daughter._** Loving words that just so happen to be flowing audibly through the baby monitor.

Emma scoffs and laughs and groans all at the same time, throwing back her covers and trudging to Leia’s room. **_This man_**.

She arrives just in time to watch Killian pepper kisses all over Leia’s tiny face.

“Killian Jones,” she scolds playfully, and he turns to her, the look on his face one of a child who’s just gotten caught with his hands in the cookie jar. “What might you be doing out of bed?”

 ** _“I…umm….I…”_** he stammers, and she’s brought straight back to the Enchanted Forest, as he stumbled to come up with a fake name. 

_“Charles. Prince Charles. And I’m Princess….Leia.”_

Emma just laughs. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to hand over the merchandise,” she explains, holding out her arms expectantly. Killian sticks out his bottom lip, pretending to pout as he hands Emma their daughter. Emma cradles the sleeping bundle in her arms, holding Leia’s face close enough to nuzzle with her cheek. “What is Daddy doing with you, duckling?” She coos, her voice quiet but enthusiastic, “Is he bugging you? Aren’t you sick of being told how pretty you are? I hope not. You’re **_so pretty,_** Leiabear. Especially when you’re sleeping, yes. **_Mmm, I love you so much._** ”

Now it’s Emma’s turn to pepper kisses all over. Killian watches his girls with delight, joy overflowing his heart. Emma looks so radiant in her silky white nightgown, bed hair falling gracefully over her shoulders, pretty pink cheek nuzzled against Leia’s matching one. Her hands hold the baby like she’s done it for years, not weeks. He’s so, so proud, and feels way, way too lucky.

“You okay?” she asks him, catching him staring.

“Aye, Swan,” he answers her, “Just admiring my lovely family.”

Emma beams, turning back to their daughter. “You tell Daddy that if he’s gunna sneak out to see you in the middle of the night, he’s gotta learn how to turn the monitor off so Mumma doesn’t hear him talking to you.”

Killian emits a frustrated groan. “That ** _bloody_** contraption is still on? Bloody hell. I swear, I toggled all of the correct—“

Emma cuts him off. “Daddy’s no good with buttons, Leia,” she continues, rubbing her nose against the baby’s, “We’re gunna have to teach him all over again, aren’t we?”

“Swan, I swear, I hit the blue button, just like you—“

“ ** _Red_** button,” she corrects him, kissing Leia’s nose softly with her lips before turning to set her down in the crib, “The red button turns it on and off.”

Killian grabs hold of her wrist gently as she’s halfway through lowering Leia back into her bed. “Wait, wait,” he insists, giving her a pleading expression. “Can I have me merchandise back? Just for a second?”

She opens her mouth to tease him again, but then she really looks at his face and, as usual, every part of her turns soft. He ** _just_** wants to hold his daughter and make sure she knows how much she’s loved. That’s all he wants.

Emma hands Leia to Killian, and she makes a small, frustrated whimpering noise. (She’s probably tired of being passed back and forth like a basketball during her precious 2 hour sleeping interval) “There, there, my littlest love,” Killian whispers, leaning her against his bare shoulder and rubbing her back the way he knows she likes. Leia’s body relaxes, slumped comfortably against her father’s. Killian sways as he rubs her back, using his blunted left arm to hold her securely against his chest. Emma watches with a smile, remembering a conversation they’d had on multiple occasions before Leia was born.

_“How am I going to hold her when I’m down a bloody hand? What if it scares her?”_

_“You will find a way and it will feel just right, to you and to her. I promise. And she absolutely won’t be scared a single bit. I promise. You’ll just be Daddy. Every kid adores their dad. I promise, Killian.”_

_“You promise?”_

_“Yes. The only thing I can’t promise is that she’ll be a SHE, so you should really stop that.”_

_“Oh, she’s a she. I can just feel it. You’ve our little princess in there, Swan.”_

_“Whatever you say, Killian.”_

Emma shakes her head at the memory, returning to the present. Killian’s lips are pressed to Leia’s hair, his eyes closed while he rememorizes the scent he’s already banked in his mind thousands of times.

Emma moves to stand next to him, putting one hand over his and using the other to lightly scratch his bare back. She sways in time with him, pressing her lips against his shoulder. “ ** _You’re so incredible with her,_** ” she praises him, unable to keep her mouth shut about it, “I could watch you hold her forever. Even though it’s the middle of the night and I’m exhausted.”

Killian lets out a breathy laugh. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

“Who are you talking to, pirate?” she teases him, nipping at his shoulder.

“You this time, Swan,” he clarifies, turning his head away from Leia to press his face into Emma’s hair. “I’ll never stop hoping that this little person right here grows up to be just like her mother.”

“I don’t know,” Emma counters, nodding at the way Leia is so comfortably snuggled in Killian’s grip, “She’s quite the daddy’s girl and you’ve taken her sailing every single day of her life. We’re bound to have a little pirate on our hands, I think.”

Killian tsked. “Tell Mummy to stop teasing you, princess,” he coos at Leia, rubbing the baby’s shoulders with his thumb. “She’s always so calm when we’re on the waves.”

“Of course she is,” Emma agrees, already looking forward to the morning, when Killian would inevitably pack up everything and bundle Leia up for their morning sail, “she’s **_your_** daughter.”

**And that was the second time.**


	3. The Third Time It Happened

The third time it happens is a classic. Leia is 8 weeks old. Emma wakes to the sound of Killian’s voice again, but this time he isn’t showering Leia with loving compliments; this time, he’s telling her important stories.

“And then, your mummy had the **_audacity_** to run straight into the barn. Can you believe her, duckling? So of course, Daddy ran straight in after her. Couldn’t let her tumble back in time all by herself, could I?”

Emma bites her lip to keep from laughing aloud. She crawls from her side of the bed to Killian’s, grabbing hold of the baby monitor. (Killian **_insists_** it lay upon **_his_** nightside table. Which of course, does not surprise Emma in the slightest.)

Before Killian can get too much further in the story, Emma presses the button that makes the little screen pop out, and switches the monitor from audio mode to video mode. (Killian has no idea that video mode exists. She dares not tell him. Emma knows that if he knew about it, he’d never sleep again; he’d literally spend all night staring at the little screen, watching their daughter snooze.)

When the video kicks in she can see Leia and Killian in the rocking chair. This time he’s got his knees up, the baby girl lounging against the tops of her daddy’s thighs in her pink sailboat pyjamas.

“So then, Mummy and Daddy found….well, **_another_** daddy in a tavern. Mummy had to distract the other daddy while I went to talk to Grandma, and I was quite sad about it, actually,” he admits, and Emma muffles her maniacal laughter in her pillow.

“But the other daddy fell straight in love with your mummy, I assure you. You’ll soon learn that it doesn’t matter the time or place, little love. Mummy and I are like magnets, always drawn to each other no matter the circumstances. Actually, I think you’re a little magnet yourself. Because we sure are stuck on you.”

He pauses the story, taking a minute to just look at her. She’s still so small, even after 8 weeks. Killian strokes each of her teeny toes before tracing the sailboat patterns on her belly. Each of his movements are so tender and instinctual, and in that moment Emma finds it impossible to believe that he was once a ruthless pirate, a man to be feared. She’d known he was going to be an amazing father, but each and every day he exceeds her wildest expectations. He is always so gentle and quiet with her, always ensuring that she has whatever she needs. Emma thought she knew the depth of Killian’s love before Leia arrived, but she’d been so, **_so_** wrong. His love for their daughter is unending and unparalleled. That love is the most precious thing in Emma’s entire world, and she would willingly give up anything if it were ever threatened. **_Anything._**

“And so, we went to the royal ball at King Midas’ castle. Mummy wore the most beautiful red dress in all the realms, and her hair looked like gold spun by the crocodile himself. She was absolutely breathtaking.”

Emma closes her eyes for a while, letting herself enjoy the story. He’d picked a good one. She laughs while Killian explains to Leia how she got her name. “Your brother says the real Princess Leia is a warrior of the galaxy or something as such. But that’s nonsense, little bird. **_You,_** of course, are the real princess Leia to me.”

Emma smiles, another memory bubbling to the surface.

_“You’re sure that’s what you want to call her?”_

_“Aye, love. Leia Swan-Jones. As long as you approve, of course.”_

_“Yeah, I love it. But we really don’t have to hyphenate, Killian. We don’t need to have the Swan in there. Leia Jones is just as nice.”_

_“Of course we need the Swan in there, love. She’s just as much yours as she is mine. She’s **our** little duckling, and everything in her life should remind her that she’ll always have the **both** of us. Everything, including her name.” _

_“And I ask you yet again, Killian. What if it’s a boy? We do not have a boy name picked out whatsoever.”_

_“Not to worry, Swan. It’s a girl.”_

Emma is whisked back to the current moment when Killian’s storytelling voice drops to a whisper and she finds she has to press her ear right up against the little machine to keep listening.

“And as we danced together for the very first time, I felt something change, little love. Now, this part’s a secret, so we’ll have to keep it right here between you and me, alright?”

Emma’s eyes widen and she presses her ear as close to the monitor as it can get.

“After Mummy did the little walkabout around me and then came back into my arms, there was something different. Something in her eyes. A little more sparkle, a little less of a shield. And that’s when I knew, Leia. In that very moment, Daddy could tell that Mummy loved him just as much as he did her. Now of course, Daddy knew he couldn’t say anything about it, not right then. We were dealing with a crisis. But still, it made Daddy’s heart flutter as fast as yours did when I first heard it.”

Emma feels her heart do all sorts of flips and flops. Of course, she’d come to realize sometime after that night that she’d fallen in love with him during that dance. But the fact that he could tell **_at the time_** …well, it was only more proof in the pile of evidence that he knew her much better than she knew herself.

“And speaking of your breathtaking mummy,” he coos, back to speaking a little louder, “I’d best get back to her, little love. She’s just like you, she loves her warm snuggles. She might be getting cold all alone down the hall, hmm? Shall I go and gather her back into my arms before she wakes and catches us?”

Emma watches Killian stand, hugging Leia tightly to his chest before setting her carefully back into her crib. “I love you so much, sweetheart,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss her cheek softly. “And Mummy does, too. We’ll never leave you, darling. **_We’ll always be right here._** ”

After a few more seconds, Emma watches Killian turn to leave the room. Quickly she snaps the screen back into place and puts the monitor back on the bedside table before scrambling back to her side of the bed and doing her best to fake-sleep. She makes sure her breathing is deep and even and shuts her eyes. In a few seconds, she hears Killian open and close their door quietly, before walking over to their bed.

She has to work really hard at her sleeping facade as she feels Killian’s fingers brushing the hair away from her face. And not only just that; a beat later, she feels his lips on her forehead. “I love you, darling,” he whispers, and a giant, **_giant_** lump forms in Emma’s throat. What did she do to deserve such a kind, loving man who kisses her and whispers sweet nothings to her even when she’s unconscious?

She feels him climb into bed, and soon after he’s making good on his promise to Leia. His arms snake around her, encouraging her to roll over and lie chest-to-chest with him. She accidentally forgets that she’s supposed to be pretending to sleep, because she all too willingly snuggles against him, nuzzling her face against his collarbone, where Leia had just been. She loves that both of their distinct scents drift pleasantly into her nose.

Rubbing her back, Killian kisses her head before whispering almost inaudibly. “Are you awake, sweetheart? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” she whispers, and she’s shocked at how thick with emotion her voice is. The lump is still in her throat, the strength of her love and appreciation for him threatening to overwhelm her.

He immediately senses the emotion in her tone, and he tilts her chin up so that he can look at her face, his thumb resting in the cleft of her chin. He sees little tears forming in her eyes. “What is it, Emma? Did you have a bad dream?”

“No,” she assures him, leaning into his touch, loving the feel of his strong, calloused palm against her cheek. “It wasn’t a bad dream. It was a good dream. A **_really, really good dream._** ”

“Yeah? Well I’m glad to hear that, darling. Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Nah, s’okay,” she tells him, making her tone sound sleepy. (It isn’t hard, she **_is_** sleepy.) “Maybe we can talk about it in the morning. I just love you, and Leia, and Henry, ** _and you_** , so, so, **_so_** much.”

He smiles at her, brushing his nose against hers before pulling her back against his chest, squeezing her tight and encouraging her to sleep by rubbing his knuckles softly against her scalp. “We love you too, Swan. **_We love you too._** ”

**And that was the third time.**


	4. The Fourth Time It Happened

The fourth time it happens, Emma gets pretty pissed off, actually. She wakes up and is nothing but cold. Sure, she’s got blankets, but the pair of arms that are usually providing her with her preferred type of warmth are absent. It was a long, annoying day at the station and the past two nights Leia hasn’t slept well, which means neither has she. For once, the stupid pirate has figured out how to turn the monitor off, so she can’t hear what he’s up to down the hall. But she damn well knows that’s where he is.

Groaning, her head pounding with fatigue, she whips off the covers and stomps to her 3 month old’s room. When she’s three quarters of the way there, she hears Killian singing Leia’s song to her softly. Normally, this would make her heart melt, but not tonight. Tonight she just gets angrier and wonders why on earth he thinks singing to a sleeping child at 3am is appropriate.

He’s standing next to Leia’s crib, the baby tucked snugly into the crook of his arm, and he’s swaying back and forth, dancing to his own music. She interrupts him mid-lyric.  

“ ** _Why the hell must you keep doing this?_** ” she demands, her arms crossed and her eyes narrow.

“Swan,” he turns, startled a little by her. “Did I leave the monitor on again? I didn’t mean to wake you, lo—“

“Nope. You shut it off. I just woke up. Because I was cold. Because I was in bed. ** _All alone._** ”

His expression immediately turns to one of guilt. “Emma, I’m so —“

“You can’t keep doing this, Killian. I’ve told you a hundred times, you **_have_** to let her sleep in her crib. She will grow up to be a terror if all you ever do is pick her up all the time!”

She pretty much yells it, and he looks like a kicked puppy. His eyes get downcast and his bottom lip sticks out involuntarily. She mildly regrets the tone of voice she used, but it’s the middle of the night and she’s super cranky so she continues her rant.

“And I don’t like it when I wake up alone. **_I hate it._** It’s cold and it makes me worry. Then it just makes me angry. And it leads to loss of my precious sleep **_which is not good_**.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

His apology is sincere, but she’s still fuming. “Give her to me.”

He tilts his head, his brow furrowing. “Swan, I’ll just—“

She holds out her arms expectantly, basically snarling. “ ** _Give her to me_** , Killian.”

Killian surrenders Leia to Emma, who cradles her against her shoulder, patting her back. “So let me ask you again. **_Why_** do you keep doing this?” she asks again, very loudly.

“Emma, you’ll wake her—“

“I am **_waiting_** for an answer—“

 ** _“Because I worry!”_** he bellows, and suddenly he’s being loud, too. This time she’s the one who startles, and she turns to look at him full on for the first time. There’s something about his expression that makes her hard edges soften a little.

“Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night, and sometimes all I can think about is that even after everything, there’s still a possibility that I could lose this.” His voice is quivering, and it’s suddenly severely affecting Emma’s stomach. “I could lose this life that we have, the life I never thought would happen for me. I was a ruthless, **_terrible_** pirate for hundreds of years. I don’t deserve this. Any of it. Not this house, not this night. I don’t deserve you, and **_especially not Leia_**.”

Each word he says is like a lash to her skin. **_“Killian,”_** Emma says, her tone completely different now. It’s quieter and soft, almost pleading. She can tell that he’s in pain and it guts her like a knife twisting its way into her stomach.

“I wake up, and I can feel you breathing in my arms,” he says quietly, and Emma feels her heart lurching all over the place. “And that makes me feel halfway better. But I can’t be sure that my happy ending is still intact until I’ve come in here and **_felt that little girl breathe._** ”

Emma stares at him, a pained expression on her face. God, how on earth could she be such an **_asshole_**? She has no idea what to do now; no idea what words or actions to use to make amends for her foolish anger or soothe these unsettling feelings he’s been dealing with. Neither of them moves or speaks for a few seconds, and Killian returns his gaze to the floor.

Finally, Emma tries to fix it.

She walks over to him slowly, but he doesn’t turn to look at her. She bites her lip, remorse overwhelming her. **_“Hey,_** ” she whispers, and when he finally looks up, he takes in her heartbreakingly apologetic face. She’s holding Leia out toward him, and he takes her reflexively, nestling her back in the crook of his right arm.

Emma tentatively raises her hand, tucking a finger underneath his chin and using it to tilt his head. “Look at me for a second,” she whispers, practically begging him. He obeys, and the tears in the corner of his eyes mirror her own. “You **_do_** deserve her, okay? There is no one more deserving of being this little girl’s father than you. She **_needs_** you. Not just anyone. **_You._** She needs you and she loves you more than anything else. I need you to understand that. I **_need_** you to. Okay?”

He bites his lip, but he nods. She exhales forcefully, and she just can’t resist it any longer. **_“Come here,_** ” she orders, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. He leans into her willingly, pressing his forehead against her pulse, being mindful that Leia doesn’t get squished in between them. She takes two deep breaths before she speaks again. “Can you feel me breathing?” she whispers.

He nods, she can feel it as his nose nudges her collarbone with each movement of his head. “You’re **_not_** going to lose us, Killian,” she says firmly, scratching soothingly at the base of his neck. “We’re right here. I understand why you could worry. It makes sense, and it’s okay. I get it. But we’re right here, sweetheart. **_Please don’t be scared._** ”

He doesn’t say anything, but he shifts Leia to one arm and wraps the other one around her, rubbing at the small of her back. She squeezes him tighter. “I’m so sorry, Killian,” she tells him. “I wish that I’d known before how you felt. I just wake up and you’re gone, and it makes me sad, sometimes.”

“I’m sorry too, Emma,” he says immediately, still nuzzling her neck. “I should’ve explained earlier. And I shouldn’t just leave you like that. I don’t mean for you to be cold or alone. I’m sorry, love.”

She chuckles. “It’s okay,” she assures him, pressing a kiss to the side of his head, “I wasn’t that cold. Just super cranky.”

She feels him smile against her skin, and she sniffles. “And I’m sorry, my sweet Princess Leia,” she coos, looking down at her daughter, “Mean Mummy interrupted your song, didn’t I? I’m sorry, little love. Should we ask Daddy to start it over?”

Killian looks up, smiling at Emma for the first time. She smiles back with tight lips, her expression still apologetic. He raises Leia high enough to kiss her forehead, and then holds her toward her mother, who promptly does the same.

“I think we’ll do a little crib-side serenade, if that’s alright with you little love,” he tells Leia, lowering her back into her crib. The baby doesn’t stir, her little eyelids remaining closed, keeping her bright green eyes hidden.

Once his arms are free, Killian opens them for Emma, pulling her flush against his chest for a warm hug. She wraps her arms around his back, letting her hands rest on his shoulder blades. She presses her cheek over his heart and he sways with her, both of their eyes locked on their little princess. “Will you sing with me?” Killian whispers, his lips at her hair. “Do you know all the words?”

“ ** _Of course_** I do, Daddy,” she assures him. (He sings the song **_several hundreds_** of times a day, how could she **_not_** know the words?)

Chest to chest, cheek to cheek, they start singing in unison, crooning out the melody Killian wrote for Leia when she was a mere peanut in Emma’s belly.

 _I love you, more than ships love waves,_  
More than birds love tides,  
More than souls that wait,   
Love the peace they find,  
You’re my very best friend  
and soon you’ll be my first mate  
I’ll hold you in my arms,   
where you’ll always be safe,  
You’ll always make me proud,  
and you’ll never be alone   
because for my whole life  
your heart will be my **home**.

They finish the song, still pressed together, and if one were to look in at them it would be impossible to tell where Killian’s body ends and Emma’s begins. They look at each other, love and fatigue equally heavy in both of their gazes. And simultaneously, they start the song over again. After all, it’s 3 in the morning and their child is sound asleep…it’s obvious that singing to her is more than appropriate.

**And that was the fourth time.**


	5. The Fifth Time It Happened

The fifth time it happens, Emma beats Killian to the punch. This time, it’s Killian who rolls over to find the other half of the bed vacant. He sits up, rubbing his eyes before swinging his legs to the floor. He assumes Emma is feeding Leia and just didn’t wake him up, but when he nears Leia’s room he finds that he can hear Emma talking. He pauses for a second, eavesdropping.

“How come you’re not sleepy, little love? Is the world just too exciting for you to miss out? Or do you just like hanging out with Mumma? Mumma loves you so much, sweet girl. Yes, Mumma does.”

Killian smiles to himself, and eagerly rounds the corner into the room, eyes easily finding the rocking chair. What surprises him, is that he finds it empty. At first he is terribly confused, until his gaze lands on Leia’s crib, and he discovers that tonight it has **_two_** occupants.

The room is fairly dark, but Killian can vaguely make out Emma’s small frame, curled up next to Leia. She’s using one arm as a pillow and the other is wrapped around Leia, and he watches for a second as her fingers rub circles over the baby’s tummy. He stands in the doorway for a beat longer watching his two loves before quietly padding over to the crib himself.

“What’s going on **_in here_**?” he asks playfully, leaning against the edge of the crib and peering down into it. Emma turns her head, looking up at him with one of her signature tight-lipped smiles. “Is Mummy snuggling with you, little lass? **_Oh my goodness._** You’re such a lucky girl, princess Leia.”

Emma does a theatrical gasp, nudging Leia so that she turns her head toward Killian. “ ** _Uh-oh._** Who’s that, Leiabear? I think your Daddy is spying on us, duckling.”

Both parents chuckle as Leia’s arms and legs start flailing, a huge smile spreading across her face when she realizes her father has arrived. Emma shakes her head. **_Such_** a daddy’s girl. Killian mirrors her smile and lowers his hand to stroke her cheek with his knuckle. Leia immediately grabs hold of his fingers, her bright green eyes staring up at him in happy wonderment. It melts him.

“Did she nurse, love? Was everything alright?” he asks Emma, who has begun to run her fingers over Leia’s velvety dark hair.

“Mhm. She finished about 10 minutes ago. And now clearly has no interest in sleeping.”

“Why didn’t you wake me, darling?” he asks curiously, flipping his gaze from Leia to Emma. He can’t get enough of how beautiful she looks, sleepy and happy and motherly and tender. Her golden hair is sprawled over her arm, and it seems to span the whole length of the crib. Her cheeks are flushed a rosy pink and her eyes sparkle, just like Leia’s.

“Because you were up with her **_all night_** last night, babe,” she reminds him, recalling with pleasure how he’d catered to all of Leia’s needs so that she could get a decent night’s sleep. “You’re not a machine, Killian. You need sleep, too.”

He absorbs her words, appreciating them. Despite the fact that his life is nothing short of perfect, it can’t be denied that he is indeed in need of sleep. “Aye. I just bristle at the thought of missing out on these precious little moments. There’s nothing in the world I enjoy more than this,” he explains, gesturing toward the two of them.  

Emma smiles, secretly amused by the tiny hint of jealously in his tone. “Yeah, well. Sometimes we just need some time for girl talk, don’t we Leia?”

Leia gurgles, and they both laugh. The baby’s eyes are still absolutely stuck on Killian, and Emma can’t help but notice.

“Look at her **_looking_** at you,” she says, propping herself up on her elbow, “You love that Daddy, don’t you, duckling? Yes, Mumma knows you do. But don’t you worry. He loves you right back.”

“That’s quite right, I do,” he coos, running his thumb over his daughter’s petite little lips, “Can I hold you, for a moment? Or does mean Mummy say no?”

Emma sighs, rolling her eyes. “Mean Mummy says it’s okay,” she says, undraping her arm from over Leia. “You’re both lucky that you’re cute.”

Killian chuckles with gleeful triumph as he leans down to expertly pick up his little girl. “She thinks we’re **_cute_** , little bird!” he tells Leia, hauling her up so that he can give her little kisses all over her face. The baby giggles infectiously, wriggling in her father’s grip. Killian begins to sway with her, looking at her in that special way, as though there isn’t anyone else in the world but her.

Emma takes that as her cue to shut her eyes. She doesn’t let herself fully fall asleep, just lets herself relax against the mattress, floating in that hazy place between consciousness and unconsciousness. After a few minutes though, Killian speaks to her, and **_man_** does he yank her back into consciousness.

“So, Emma. Darling. My love. My lovely, stunning wife…Are you ready yet to have another?”

Emma’s eyes fly open and her face contorts into the most incredulous expression. “ ** _Are you on crack?_** ”

“I beg your pardon? What the bloody hell is crack?”

“Oh my **_god_** , Killian,” Emma has her palm against her face, and she’s on the brink of hysterical laughter. “Leia, tell Daddy he’s gone mad.”

“But the other day you said **_you wanted_** more children,” he whines, and Emma groans, throwing her index finger high into the air.

“One. One more. **_One_** ,” she clarifies, wiggling the finger indignantly. “And I need minimum three years.”

**_“Three?!”_ **

“Killian, that one just got here! How do you already want another one?”

“I just love this one **_so much_** ,” he argues, kissing Leia’s forehead, “I can’t wait to love another. And besides, Swan. It’s devilishly cute, this little thing that we made.”

She can’t exactly disagree. “Yes, but my stomach is still flubbery and wrinkly and gross from baking that cute little thing for you,” she stresses. “I got a nice 15 year break between the last two. The oven is not ready for round three.”

Killian peers down at her, his face suddenly so serious. “Your stomach is **_not_** flubbery,” he insists, holding Leia with his left arm so that he can reach down with his right to stroke Emma’s stomach, “It’s wonderful. You are a marvel, Mummy. You’re stunning. You’ve the second most beautiful belly in all the realms.”

Emma swats his hand away, but threads her fingers through his. She can’t contain her laughter. “ ** _Man_** , Leia. Thanks to you, I always land in second place these days.”

Killian laughs along with her, before his serious gaze returns and he squeezes her hand. “But in all seriousness, my love,” he says, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb, “ ** _I’m so proud of you._** I’m so proud of how expertly you carried her for us. You were amazing. I only wish I could’ve done more to help you, or done more to ease your pain there at the end,” he tells her sincerely, shuddering from the memory of Emma’s bloodcurdling screams of pain as she valiantly brought Leia into the world.

Emma smiles sheepishly, tilting her head up at him. Her pirate. **_Always so sweet._**

“You did everything you possibly could’ve,” she assures him. “I definitely couldn’t’ve done it without you beside me. Thanks for sticking around.”

His eyes widen a little. “You never honestly thought I might leave you, did you?”

“ ** _No no no,_** ” she clarifies, and he exhales in relief. “Still. Just because I knew you wouldn’t leave doesn’t mean I can’t thank you for staying.”

He beams at her, tightening his hold on their daughter before leaning toward her. She scrambles onto her knees so she can easily reach his approaching lips. She nestles her fingers in his hair as they kiss, an age-old habit of hers. He moves his hand to cup her cheek, using one finger to tickle her earlobe.

“ ** _I’ll tell you what,_** ” she whispers against his lips as they come up for air, “If you can find it in your heart to put your littlest love back in here, maybe we can go back to bed, and **_practice_** making duckling number two.”

Killian pulls back further from her, his gaze suddenly lustful and teasing as he turns to the side so Emma can see where Leia is leaning against his shoulder.

Emma’s expression turns to surprise when she sees Leia’s face, rolling her eyes as Killian gloats. “Well, since duckling number one has, **_as usual_** , fallen right to sleep in her Daddy’s arms, I see no reason not to let her snooze while we…. ** _practice._** ”

Emma sticks her tongue out at him as she climbs out of the crib. “Well then, put down your little daddy’s girl,” she says, and he can sense the tiniest hint of annoyance in her tone. (She’s just jealous because he’s **_always_** the one who gets Leia to sleep effortlessly.) “After all, practice makes perfect.”

They each kiss one of Leia’s cheeks before Killian sets her down. “You aren’t wrong, Swan,” he says quietly, picking her up bridal style before pausing so they can stare into the crib one final time. “But I do believe we **_already_** made perfect.”

 **And that was the fifth time.**  


	6. The Sixth Time It Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This Time is pretty angsty and depressing! Sorry! Don't know what got into the muse the day I wrote this! :O

The sixth time it happens, Emma completely understands. She wakes that night, too, and instantly she feels the weight of the day’s tragedy against her chest. It doesn’t surprise her at all that Killian isn’t in bed next to her. Even though he was strong **_all day long_** , she could tell that the horrible events of the day took a deep toll on him. Tinkerbell is, after all, one of his best friends. Sometimes when Emma wakes up alone, she worries about where he is. But tonight, she only worries about how he must be feeling.

She takes a deep breath and gets out of bed, pulling on one of Killian’s t-shirts. They’d opted for silent, skin-to-skin cuddles to lull them both to sleep, but Emma had guessed that even so, it would be one of those nights that Killian was drawn down the hallway. She creeps that way now, and when she gets to the door, it’s shut. She braces her ear against it, and her heart **_shatters_** in her chest for the umpteenth time that day. She can’t hear Killian speaking. Instead, she can hear him weeping softly, his sniffles quiet but definitely real.

She pushes open the door slowly, expecting to see Killian’s tears collecting atop Leia’s head. However, she’s surprised to find that he isn’t holding the baby; instead, he’s sitting on the floor next to her crib, his forehead leaning against the slats. He’s shoved his hand between two of them, and Emma can just make out Leia’s tiny fingers wrapped around his thumb.

Instinctively, Emma crouches to the floor, not wanting to startle him or for him to think she’s looking down at him in any way. Now at his level, she crawls over to him, fighting against the tears that are gathering in the corners of her eyes. She can’t ** _bear_** the thought of him in pain. She knows he knows she’s there, but he hasn’t acknowledged her yet, his eyes locked on Leia. Tentatively, she raises a hand, fluttering it behind him before deciding it best to simply lay it against his shoulder. Upon feeling her gentle touch he turns to look at her, and the tear-filled, heartbroken expression on his face just **_guts_** her.

Not even a second passes before she’s gathering him into her arms, cradling his head against her shoulder. He’s desperate for her comfort and he lets Leia’s fingers go so he can wrap his arms around her, fresh tears escaping. **_“I know,”_** Emma tells him with a wobbly voice, thick with her own tears. She rubs his back in soothing circles. “I know, Killian. You were so strong today, sweetheart. But you don’t have to be strong anymore, not with me. You can break down and you can cry. I have you. **_I’m here._** ”

He shakes in her arms and she just holds him tight, rocking them gently back and forth. After a few moments he takes a deep, shaky breath, and tries to speak. “I just,” he stammers, not knowing how to even communicate his grief, “I just can’t even fathom what they—” he pauses, “what **_she—”_**  another pause, “or if… ** _Gods,_** Emma, **_if it had been_** —”

“Shh,” she hushes him when he can’t continue, even though she knows what he’d been about to say. “Don’t do that to yourself, Killian,” she begs him. “Your baby is **_right there._**  Do you see her? She’s right there, Killian. She’s okay. I promise you. **_She’s okay._** ”

Tinkerbell and Will Scarlett had fallen in love. It had been unexpected and lightning fast, but they loved each other as if they’d been doing so for years and years. Tinkerbell had told Killian that the speed of it had scared her, but he’d assured her that when it came to epic love, things like time and speed were often transcended. It wasn’t long before they were married, and 6 months into Emma’s pregnancy, Tinkerbell announced that her and Will were expecting a child of their own. Tink and Hook spent many a night at Granny’s together, sharing both their excitement and their fears. Killian had even been with her when she’d felt the baby kick for the first time, and they laughed about it together. Their friendship was the only positive thing to arise from their time spent with Pan, and they were happy that their kids would get grow up as friends, without having to suffer any turmoil like they did.

But three days prior, all of their dreams for that were shattered. Tink went into labour, not unlike Emma had. The Swan-Jones family was enjoying a beautiful morning out on the waves when Will called Killian from the hospital to let him know that the baby was coming. Killian asked Emma if she’d mind if they went back to port earlier than they’d planned, and of course she’d enthusiastically agreed. Killian made Emma lunch and helped put Leia down for a nap before kissing her goodbye and heading for the hospital. To his surprise, Tink’s labour had been lightning fast, and when he arrived the baby had already been born. And then, to his utmost horror, he discovered the terrible news: Tink’s baby had been born still. Abigail Scarlett was born without breath, and despite the doctors’ valiant efforts, the precious baby girl was lost forever. Killian was fairly certain that the sound of Tinkerbell’s earth-shattering sobs would remain with him for the rest of his life. The following few days had been a complete haze of sadness and grief for the entire town, as arrangements were made for the funeral that took place today. Throughout all of it, Killian had remained a rock; while the storm of mourning **_raged on_** around him, he tried his damnedest to hold it together, strictly for Tinkerbell and Will’s sake. But now that he’s home, the waves of **_sadness_** and **_horror_** and **_grief_** and **_pain_** that he’d shoved down bubble to the surface and threaten to do him in. Emma is his ship, but Leia is his anchor, and he knows that without her, **_he’d surely float away._**

Killian bites his lip hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to keep his sobs at a volume that won’t disturb his daughter’s slumber. He tries to focus on Emma’s voice, and on the warmth of her body around him. Even though she’s smaller than he, she’s somehow managed to hold him in her lap, and he’s **_so grateful_** that he has someone like her to be his beacon in the darkest of hours.

Emma is still on the subject of Leia, assuring him that their tiny, perfect little thing is right there next to them. “And there’s nothing else we can do, but just **_hold her,_** ” Emma breathes against his forehead, tracing her fingertips up and down his spine, “Hold her and  ** _love her_** and be so, **_so_** thankful for her. Why weren’t you holding her, Killian?” she asks gently, because she is still curious as to why he’d just been sitting, looking in at her. “ ** _Hold her,_** sweetheart. She’ll help you heal better than I can.”

Killian takes another deep breath. “I wanted to let her sleep,” he whispers, reaching his hand back through the slats, “You always tell me about how important it is to let her sleep in her crib, and from now on, I just want to be sure that **_I always—”_**

Emma’s expression sinks into one of understanding and sadness as she absorbs his words of worry. She shakes her head vehemently and leans back a little, and after a flourish of her hand their baby is sandwiched between them. Killian sits up immediately and takes Leia in his arms, hugging her against his heart, his palm flat on her backside. He rubs his nose against her hair and hiccups back a sob, making the mistake of wondering how he would even **_begin_** to survive without his precious little love. He can’t fathom what Tink and Will are experiencing, but his heart ** _breaks_** because he knows that they are holding each other somewhere, with no baby nestled in between them.

“I want her to know about her,” he murmurs, and Emma tilts her head, still stroking his back. 

“Hmm?” she asks, unsure of what he means.

“Leia and Abigail were meant to be friends,” he explains, and then Emma gets it. “We **_have_** to make sure that Leia knows that there’s an angel watching over her.”

Tears slip from Emma’s eyes as she reaches around to stroke her daughter’s cheek. “We’ll make sure,” she promises him. “ ** _She’ll know._** ”

Killian nods, and he’s quiet for a moment before he speaks again. “I just…I just love her **_so much_** ,” he whispers, nuzzling his cheek against Leia’s velvety dark hair.

“I know.”

“I need her. **_Like air to breathe_**.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

“It scares me,” he says it so quietly that she almost can’t hear.

“It scares me too,” she whispers back.

“She’s so tiny. So fragile.”

“But she’s **_strong,_** ” Emma tells him, putting her hand over Killian’s, which is still clinging to Leia’s back. “She’s so, so strong. Like her Dad.”

He shakes his head. “ ** _Like her Mum,_** ” he argues.

“ ** _And_** her Dad,” she argues back, and that, he’ll accept.

“Can we keep her with us?” Killian begs quietly, “Just for tonight? **_I can’t bear leaving her,_** ” he tells Emma.

Emma nods her head immediately. “Of course,” she assures him, rubbing his knuckles, “I don’t wanna leave her either.”

With another wave of Emma’s hand, Killian feels the wind blowing against his face. She’s transported them to the porch swing outside, and with a snap of her fingers the quilt from their bed is wrapped tightly around the three of them. Emma nuzzles against Killian’s side, and Killian shifts Leia so that she’s laying safely in the crook of his arm. Keeping his eyes glued to the baby, Killian presses a chaste kiss to Emma’s head before leaning his own head against it. Emma can feel Killian’s body start to relax a little, and for that she is so, **_so_** thankful. She knows that he (and herself, too) have only **_begun_** to heal, but she also has faith that **_they can get through this._** She reaches for one of Leia’s little hands, stroking the soft skin of their baby girl’s tiny fingers. Emma and Killian both sit quietly, watching Leia breathe, trying to forget the pain of the day and just be **_here_** , in this moment. The wind howls in the night, strong and full, but neither of them fear they’ll float away…for their little anchor is safely nestled between them, **_tethering their hearts securely to home._**

**And that was the sixth time.**


	7. The Seventh Time It Happened

The seventh time it happens, Emma isn’t even home. Leia is 4 months old and for the first time in her daughter’s life, Emma is spending the weekend out of town. She wanted to do something special for her mother’s birthday, so she and Snow are spending the weekend in New York, seeing the sights and staying in a ritzy hotel. (In truth Emma loves New York, and wants her mother to be able to experience it whilst not on a Storybrooke-saving mission.)

Leaving Leia had been much harder than she’d anticipated. When she booked the trip two weeks prior, Emma assumed that by the time the day of departure arrived she’d be grateful for the reprieve. Leia had hit a streak of crankiness and sleep-resistance, and Emma had looked forward to a quiet weekend away with her mom. But, when the time came to leave her big blue house and pick up Snow at the loft, she found herself in tears not half a minute after leaving. She had to pull back into the driveway and run up the porch steps to Killian and Leia, who had been standing there waving goodbye.

_“Emma, what did you forget this—“ Killian stops speaking when he realizes Emma is crying as she charges up the steps. By the time she reaches the top he has her figured her out, and has Leia held out in front of him._

_“ **C’mere** baby girl,” Emma mutters, shaking her head at herself as she takes the baby from Killian. She shuts her eyes and holds her close, pressing her lips to Leia’s forehead again and again. Killian has his hand at the small of Emma’s back, rubbing soothing circles there. “I love you **so much** , Leiabear. Daddy’s going to take such good care of you, okay? Yeah, he will. Mumma will be back. Yeah, sweetheart. Mummy will be back soon. I’ve just never left you before, little love. It’s making Mummy cry.”_

_Emma kisses her head a few more times, before taking a deep breath and handing her back to Killian. “Okay,” she breathes out, trying to steady herself. “Okay. It’ll be okay. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”_

_Killian smiles at her widely. “Sounds perfect, love. We’ll be fine. Daddy’s got this.”_

_“I know you do,” she assures him. “You’re such a great dad.”_

_He beams at her. “I think you need one more hug,” he says, and she presses herself against his chest, his hooked arm snaking its way around her. “Enjoy yourself, darling. We’ll miss you dearly.”_

_“I miss you already,” she admits, but bravely pulls back from him._

_“Bye-bye, Leiabear. I love you, honey. Keep your daddy out of trouble.”_

_Killian laughs and Emma manages to smile and wink at him as she skips back to the car, sad to leave but confident that her little family will be okay without her._

Now it’s 3:00am, and Emma is awake in the sitting room of their New York hotel room. In truth, her boobs woke her up a couple of hours ago. After four months of nursing Leia on a schedule strictly kept by a captain of the high seas, her body knows when it’s time to go. So she’s awake, and after trying to ignore her discomfort for two hours, she’s submitted to feeling like a milked cow at the hands of her breast pump.

She can’t help but let her mind wander to Storybrooke. When she’d called Killian earlier, he’d been enthusiastically proud of himself, assuring her that everything was absolutely fine. He and Henry had taken Leia for an evening sail and she’d been lulled to sleep as the sun sank beneath the waves.

Emma smiles to herself in the dark, picturing Leia sleeping in the crook of Killian’s arm as Henry expertly captains the Jolly. Unable to stop herself, her right hand wanders to her left, to where Liam’s ring sits on her ring finger. She’s stored a bit of magic there, and she selfishly decides she wants to use it now, just so she can sneak a peek at her snoozing little love. She can’t help it. She **_misses_** her.

With a rub of her index finger against the ring, the tv in the sitting room flicks on, and she finds herself looking in at Leia’s room. At first glance, she balks, and she squints to confirm what she’s seeing. Yep, it’s no illusion. The crib is empty. She sighs, waving her hand at the tv so that she can see the rocking chair. She scoffs in disbelief when it too, is empty.

“Oh you **_didn’t_** , pirate,” she whispers, waving her hand to change her view again. This time her and Killian’s room appears on the screen, and she nearly dislodges the breast pump as she leans forward to study the screen.

It’s dark, but there’s a little light thrown into the room by their adjoining bathroom. Their quilt has been kicked to the foot of the bed, and she can see Killian leaning against the headboard, a small and pink-clad little princess snuggled underneath his chin.

Emma rolls her eyes dramatically at the screen, reaching for the remote so she can crank up the volume. **_Damn pirate._** She knows he knows she’d **_never_** let him get away with hauling Leia to their room in the middle of the night, so he’d waited until Mummabear left the den. Sneaky Daddy.

She sighs, thinking of the one hundred times she’s lectured him about Leia needing to stay in her own bed. He’s messing with her at the **_wrong_** hour, her boobs hurt and it’s the middle of the night and she’s too far away to swat him, so instead she’s going to have to pick up the phone and just give him a piece of her—

She’s thinking all of these thoughts as she’s turning up the volume, and when it’s high enough, his voice gives her pause.

“—and she was so lonely, Leia. For 28 years, save the months she had Baelfire, Mummy was all by herself. There was no one to hold her when she was sick, no one she could go to if she was upset and needed a hug. And I don’t even want to think about how many nights she went to bed cold. Mummy gets cold **_so easily_** , little love. She even shivers sometimes when Daddy’s holding her. That’s why you and I have to always give her big, warm snuggles. I can’t imagine how many times she felt cold when she was small.”

Emma feels tears spring to her eyes suddenly and she hastily unhooks the breast pump because it is making loud noises and she needs to hear Killian. She’s yet to figure out why he’s telling Leia about this, but she’s sure there’s a reason. **_He always has a reason._**

“But even though we were both alone, Mummy even more than Daddy, it made us both tough, little love. It made us who we are and honestly, it’s part of what brought us together. Mummy and I could always understand each other, even before we fell in love. Or, I should say, even before ** _Mummy_** fell in love. Me, well. I’ve already told you dozens of times how I’ve loved her since the moment I saw her.“

Leia chooses that moment to gurgle softly, and Killian smiles at her, scratching his nails against her back gently. She nestles her head further into him, clearly blissed out in her father’s warm embrace. Emma could hardly blame her. There was nowhere in the world more blissful than Killian’s arms.

“And I’m so sorry Daddy has to tell you all of these sad stories, my littlest love,” he says, and Emma turns the volume up higher because he’s whispering now. “But I’ll tell them to you more than once. I just need you to understand why it’s so important to me and your Mum that you know you’ll never, ever be alone. **_I promise you_** , sweetheart. Daddy’s here and Mummy’s here, even though she’s in New York. She’s right here,” he explains, pointing at her heart. "You’ll be a tough lass, Leiabear, but **_not_** because you had to grow up too fast or fight demons by yourself. You’ll always have Mummy and Daddy to hold you when you’re sick. And you won’t have to build big walls around yourself to protect your heart, my sweet love. Daddy will protect it, alright? And you’ll never be cold, my darling. Daddy would light his soul on fire to keep you warm, Leia. I have you. Daddy’s right here.”

Emma is losing the battle she’s waging against her hiccuping sobs. She has her hand pressed over her mouth and tears are spilling against her fingers. She watches her husband bring her daughter’s cheek against his own, nuzzling her ever so gently, not wanting his scruffy beard to scratch her too hard. He tilts her back slightly and kisses her tiny pink lips, her head cradled in his hand, his thumb worrying patterns against her temple.

Emma smiles through her tears at his tenderness, in awe of him and the love he has for his daughter, so great that its warmth reaches her even though she sits in a dark room, miles from where they are. Leia looks so happy and peaceful and **_safe_ ** in his arms, and Emma is so honoured and proud to call Killian the father of her child. She giggles and cries at the same time as he eskimo kisses her before plucking up her hand and kissing each of her fingers. Totally mesmerized by the screen, she doesn’t hear the approach of someone behind her.

“What are you doing up, sweetheart?” a groggy voice asks from behind her. Emma turns her head at the noise, and a sleepy Snow White falls into her line of view.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” she apologizes, “Did I wake you?”

“Not really. I just turned over in the bed and realized you weren’t in it.”

Emma smiles. She knows how ** _that_** feels.

“Sorry. I had to pump. Then I decided to spy on Leia. And now I’m just totally blubbering because of Killian.”

It’s then that Snow first looks at the screen. “Wait. That’s Killian?”

“Yeah. I stored some magic in my wedding ring. I missed them,” she explains. Snow rounds the couch and sits down next to Emma, beckoning her over with open arms. Emma scoots over and leans against her mother’s chest, taking one of her hands. They both watch Killian’s quiet movements for awhile. He moves from Leia’s fingers to kiss her toes.

“He’s quite something, isn’t he?” Snow marvels, eyes wide in wonder at the Captain’s gentle ministrations.

Emma nods against her. “He loves her **_so much,_** Mom,” Emma stresses. “I thought he loved **_me_** a lot. But it’s nothing compared to how much he loves his little girl. She’s everything to him. He can literally never get enough of her.”

Snow chuckles. “Your father is the same way,” she tells Emma. “Even when I was pregnant with you. He barely talked to me anymore. He spent all his free time talking to you.”

Emma smiles. “And he won’t stop going in her room when she’s asleep. He’s literally **_addicted_** to watching her sleep.”

Snow’s grin widens. “It seems the pirate’s found his treasure.”

Emma’s gaze flicks back to the screen, where Killian is still lovingly cradling their daughter, never going more than a few seconds without kissing her. “Oh yes,” Emma agrees, her heart swelling, **_“Oh yes he has.”_**

**And that was the seventh time.**


	8. The Eighth Time It Happened

The eighth time it happens, Killian just can’t help it. When he wakes in the middle of the night, he can’t keep the memories of the day from creeping into his mind. His littlest love had screamed so helplessly, her deafening cries laced thick with pain. He’d had to fight back tears himself at the sight. Simply terrible.

Carefully he extricates himself out from Emma’s embrace, quickly pulling up the covers to keep her warm in his absence. He gets up quietly from the bed, retrieving another blanket from the chest, just for good measure. He tucks it around her, scrunching a bit of it up near her face, just how she likes. He can’t help but lean in and press kisses against Emma’s hairline, his fingers threading through her tresses. “I love you, Mrs. Swan-Jones,” he whispers, before leaning over to click the monitor off. He steps back carefully, watching Emma to ensure she doesn’t wake as he exits their room.

He tiptoes down the hall to his princess’s room, pushing open the door quietly. It’s toastier in her room than in the rest of the house, which is the fault of the space heater Killian insisted they place in her room for this particular night. (Because of what happened earlier, Leia was only allowed to wear a legless onesie, instead of the footed pyjamas she usually wore to bed. Killian had worried she’d get cold, so he’d argued with Emma about the space heater and won.)

When Killian makes it over to the crib and peers into it, he can’t stop the sad frown that creeps onto his face. His little Leia has 2 small band-aids on each of her thighs, covering up the places where the doctor pricked her with the infernal “shots” Emma insisted she needed.

_“I don’t like this, Swan. I don’t think I can handle it.”_

_“ **I told you** you wouldn’t be able to handle it. That’s why I told you you didn’t have to come.” _

_Killian’s heart is racing, his eyes locked on the innocent, wide-eyed little girl in his wife’s arms. He bites his lip and furrows his brow, trying not to think about the fact that Dr. Whale is preparing to stab his daughter repeatedly._

_Emma watches him carefully, and spies a bead of sweat forming on his forehead. “Killian. Do you want me to poof you home? You’re not going to like this. I can just do it by myself, it’s okay.”_

_Killian pries his eyes from his happy, oblivious daughter’s face to look at his wife. He sighs. “As much as I’d like to accept that offer, Swan…” he drawls, his gaze floating back to Leia as he offers her his fingers to play with, “…I want to be here incase she needs me for anything.”_

_Emma bites her lip to keep from laughing at her overprotective-Daddy-pirate. “Okay,” she says, her tone one of warning. “This isn’t gunna be any fun for anyone, is it? You don’t even know what’s coming for you, do you, sweet girl? Are you gunna be a brave girl for Daddy, Leia? Hmm?”_

_Leia is toothlessly smiling, totally captivated by her Mommy’s pretty voice. Her pudgy hands are wrapped around Killian’s fingers, squeezing against the cool metal of the rings he wears. Dr. Whale comes in then._

_“Ready?” he asks._

_Emma rubs the back of Killian’s hand soothingly. “As we’ll ever be.”_

_“Okay. Emma, if you can put her down on the exam table, that’d be great. We’re doing four vaccinations today, two in each thigh. If you guys are comfortable holding her down, it’ll go as fast as possible.”_

_Emma nods, and gently removes Killian’s hand from Leia’s grip so she can get up and move over to the exam table. Killian follows closely, and a nurse joins them, band-aids at the ready._

_Emma lays still-oblivious-Leia down on the table, the paper that covers it crinkling loudly underneath the squirming baby. Emma has a focused expression, and she pins Leia’s arms to her sides. “Are you okay to hold her legs, Killian?” Dr. Whale asks. “We’ll go right leg, then left.”_

_Killian nods nervously, and Emma sucks in a breath. She knows Killian’s on the verge of freaking out and she wants Dr. Whale to just do it now and get it over with._

_“Okay, right leg,” Dr. Whale orders, and Killian wraps his hand around Leia’s tiny leg, holding it out straight, tightly._

_“Three…two…one.” Killian watches in horror as Dr. Whale aims the syringe at Leia’s leg, and the scream the baby emits when the needle touches her skin is the loudest noise she’s ever made. It shatters Killian’s heart into a million pieces. Somehow, the noise she makes when the second shot comes is even louder._

_“Left leg,” Dr. Whale orders after the nurse has the first two pokes bandaged. Killian switches mechanically, the lump in his throat humongous and threatening._

_“Shhh, I know honey, Mumma sorry,” Emma is saying, and tears are pouring out of Leia’s eyes, and her face is contorted in pain like Killian’s never seen. Emma pinches her eyes closed and hisses sympathetically as Dr. Whale starts on her second leg. The third and fourth shots elicit even more shrieks, and as soon as the 4th bandage is in place Emma lets go and Killian picks Leia up without even thinking, holding her protectively against his chest. She’s crying so hard that he can feel her little lungs expanding and contracting against his shirt. At the moment, Killian is too horrified to form words; all he can do is hold her, pressing her tightly against his warm body, and the baby moves her head back and forth, nuzzling against him as she cries. Emma puts her hand against the part of Leia’s back that Killian’s hand isn’t clutching at, rubbing soothing circles. “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s all done, Leiabear. It’s okay. We’re sorry, Leia. Your daddy has you, honey. It’s all done, little love. Daddy’s got you, yeah. Oh, Leia. I’m sorry.”_

_Killian starts bouncing instinctively, swallowing hard against the lump. Emma watches his Adam’s apple bob and she can sense his agony. “Are you okay?” she asks him, keeping her hand in place._

_He takes a deep breath, and shakes his head no, hoisting Leia higher so he can press her cheek against his. Emma can see the tears in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over. She doesn’t really know what she can say; she totally gets it. She knows how **protective** Killian is when it comes to Leia, and unfortunately this is a type of thing he can’t protect her from. And it’s killing him. Emma knows that every second Leia cries increases the intensity of his pain and she hates it. _

_A few more minutes pass, and much to her parents’ relief, Leia begins to calm down. “Ready to go home?” Emma asks quietly, the doctor having already left and given them the all-clear._

_“Aye,” Killian says, finally finding his voice. It was quiet and raw. “Aye, my little love,” he says gently to Leia, who is still red-faced and breathing irregularly, pressed against him, “It’s okay. It’s okay, sweet princess. Let’s get you home.”_

**_Now,_** Killian can’t help but lean down and skim his fingers gently over Leia’s soft, bare thighs, being careful to avoid her bandages. “We had a hard day, didn’t we, little love?” he whispers, finishing his traced patterns and plucking the sleeping little girl up from her bed. He hoists her up so she can lean on his shoulder, her little head nestled against his neck. He tilts his chin sideways so he can kiss her ear before whispering into it. “Are you alright? Daddy’s so sorry, little Leia. I wish I could’ve taken those pricks for you, my sweet love. Daddy didn’t like watching his Leia get poked, no. That was very hard. You were such a brave girl.”

Leia stirs in her sleep, and Killian watches her little mouth stretch as she yawns. One of her arms flail out, and her hand just so happens to come to rest against his jawbone, her little fingers brushing gently against the scruff of his beard. Killian chuckles, swaying with her. “Are you just like Mummy, sweetheart? Do you like Daddy’s stubble too?”

“Of course she does,” Emma whispers from the doorway, where she’s leaning against the doorframe, watching Killian sway.

Killian spins around, keeping his swaying rhythm as he turns to look at Emma. An apologetic look takes over his face. “I’m sorry,” he tells her earnestly.

Emma just smiles at him. “It’s okay. It was a hard day.”

He nods and she steps toward him, reaching up on her toes to kiss his cheekbone above Leia’s hand. He turns his head, leaning down so he can reach her lips easier. They kiss slowly, Emma swaying with him, her hair splaying over her shoulder and probably tickling Leia’s head.

“You were brave today, Daddy,” she whispers when they break apart, “you held it together pretty good. I’m very proud of you.”

He smiles at her. “Thanks. It was truly awful.”

“Ugh, **_I know,_** ” Emma agrees, rubbing the back of her hand against Leia’s hair, “Our poor little baby. You’re such a big girl, Princess Leia.”

“No she’s not, she’s ** _little!_** ” Killian insists, his tone scolding, “Tell Mummy you’re little, Leia. You aren’t going to grow up, are you? You’ll be a good lass and stay little for Daddy, right?”

Emma laughs. “ ** _Okay, okay_** , she’s little,” Emma agrees, touching her fingertip to Leia’s nose. “Can I have a turn?”

“Oh. But methought she had to sleep in her crib?” Killian teases, and Emma gives him **_the look._**

“Hey. I had to watch her get poked too, you know,” she reasons.

“Yes, you did,” Killian agrees. “How’d you handle it so well?”

Emma widens her eyes at him. “Oh, **_I hated it._**  I hated it so much, I wanted to cry and beat up the doctor and run out of there. But I could tell **_you_** were even more shaken up. So I knew I had to be strong for you.“

Killian smiles gratefully, and carefully holds Leia out for Emma to take. Emma cradles her gently in her arms, rocking back and forth. Leia’s sleeping face is on glorious display for her father, and he shakes his head as he looks from Leia to Emma.

Emma rolls her eyes, reading his mind. “Just **_say it._** I know it’s on the tip of your tongue.”

He says it. “She looks **_EXACTLY LIKE YOU._** ”

“Mhm, so you’ve mentioned. Approximately one zillion and four times.”

“Emma, she **_does._** Her nose, her little chin dimple, the way her lips rest just there. **_Exactly_** like you. I love it so much.”

“I love **_you_** so much,” Emma counters, a playful expression on her face.

“And I you, my love,” he says, stepping forward to embrace both her as well as Leia, “always and forever.”

**And that was the eighth time.**


	9. The Ninth Time It Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a long one for ya! It took me way too long to write this one but it’s one of my favourite times it happened.

The ninth time it happens, everyone gets involved. Leia is 6 months old now, and no one can believe how fast she’s growing.

When Killian wakes, he’s greeted with the sight of flashing zeroes on his digital alarm clock. He rubs at his eyes, reasoning that the power must’ve flickered. He then notices that another consequence of the power flicker is that the baby monitor isn’t on. He sits up quickly, panicked at how long it’s been off for. For the past day and a half Leia’s been quite unhappy, tummy aching from what Emma called “gas pains.” He hates to think that she may be crying, unbeknownst to he and Emma, thanks to the power flicker. He throws off the covers, so anxious to check on her that he doesn’t pay any mind to Emma, who is laying on her stomach, having migrated toward the middle of the bed, closer to him.

As he makes his way down the hall, he’s comforted that all seems quiet. He’s close enough now that if Leia **_was_**  crying, he would be able to hear. Regardless, he continues down the path to her room, intent on checking on her, just in case.

When he enters her room, he doesn’t even make it to the crib before his heart stops. It’s quiet. It’s **_too_** quiet.

He rushes to Leia’s bed, and his worst fear is confirmed: the crib is empty. **_EMPTY._**

Before he can help it, tears spring to his eyes and he’s crying. He spins around, looking for signs of forced entry, and he finds none. That can only mean one thing: **_magic._** There were no demons they knew of currently waging war on them. Who would take his daughter? Where was she?! He needed to find her. **_NOW._**

He sucks in a deep breath, preparing to scream Emma’s name at the top of his lungs. He’s sweating profusely, and his legs feel weak. His lungs are filled to capacity, but just as he’s about to shriek, he hears the microwave downstairs turn on.

Powered by sheer adrenaline, Killian flies down the stairs, fully intent on strangling whichever villain is microwaving his child.

When he gets to the kitchen he’s headed for the knife block when the sight before him makes him stop in his tracks.

Henry is standing in front of the microwave in his pyjamas, bundle of tiny girl tucked safely in the crook of his right arm.

Killian exhales powerfully in relief, swiping his hand across his forehead. The exhale is so audible that it earns him both his children’s attention. Henry’s brow furrows in confusion at his relieved face and laboured breathing, and Leia’s eyes light up, her little arms wiggling in her father’s direction.

“What’s up with **_you_**?” Henry asks incredulously, probably wondering if Killian has descended into a psychosis.

“Sorry lad,” Killian huffs out, shaking his head at himself, “It’s just, when I found the little princess’s bed empty…it gave me a fright.”

Understanding finally colours Henry’s features. “Oh, sorry,” he apologizes, holding Leia out toward Killian.

Killian reaches for her gratefully, holding her tiny body against his chest with his stumped arm and cradling her soft little head in his hand. He inhales her familiar scent, serving to help his heart rate descend back to normal levels.

“Hello my sweet duckling,” he says animatedly, looking down at her face. “Are you alright? Is your big brother looking after you? Hmmm? You’re **_so lucky,_** my precious little love.”

The microwave beeps, and Henry takes out the tummy pad he heated for Leia. It’s a little too warm, so he passes it back and forth between his palms to cool it. “I heard her crying,” Henry explains. “After about 10 minutes I realized what must’ve happened with the power. So I went and got her, and tried just rocking her, but she still seemed not comfy. So we came down here.”

Killian is frowning down at his little love, upset that she’d been crying without his knowledge. “I’m so sorry, Leia,” he coos at her, before turning to Henry. “Thank you so much, Henry. I’m sorry she woke you. Would you like me to take that so you can get back to sleep? I know you’ve school tomorrow and wouldn’t want you to be unrested.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Henry insists, holding out his arms, “I wanna be her knight in shining armour for once. I’ll just take a nap in Grandma’s class at lunch.”

Killian smiles, unable to argue. The list of people he trusts to care for Leia is short, but Henry is certainly on it. He hands her back to him, and they head to the couch together, sitting at opposite ends. Killian watches Henry get Leia situated with the warm belly pad, satisfied at the way she slumps in his arms, clearly relaxed. Henry gives her his fingers to play with.

They sit in comfortable silence for a bit, both just watching Leia. She seems to be quite awake, staring up at Henry’s face, sticking her tongue out. A new, endearing habit of hers. Killian can’t seem to stop watching her.

After a few minutes, Henry breaks the silence. “So…” he begins, and Killian shifts his attention toward him. “Violet’s birthday is coming up.”

Killian can’t help but waggle his eyebrows, as he always does whenever Henry brings up his fair maiden. “Is that right?” Killian says. “And what might you have planned, my lad?”

“Well…that’s kind of why I’m bringing it up,” Henry mumbles, and Killian nods in understanding. “I was hoping you could give me some advice. You’re just so good at charming mom, and I thought…”

Killian smiles proudly at this grand compliment. “Say no more,” he says warmly. “I’d love to help.”

***

As the boys talk strategy downstairs, Emma tosses and turns in her bed, sweat beading on her forehead as a nightmare wracks her soul.

_It’s eerily quiet, except for the crying. She darts her head around, trying to find the source of the strangled noise. She feels the panic overtaking her. Is it Leia? It can’t be. The crying is too loud and pained and guttural to be coming from her tiny daughter. The hallways she creeps down are pitch dark, a consequence of the lack of doors or windows. Periodically the loud crying turns to coughing and gagging, before switching straight back to overwhelming sobs._

_“Where are you?” Emma yells, her voice dry and desperate as she tries her best to locate the owner of the cries. “I want to help you, but I just can’t find you!”_

_The crying turns to coughing again, and she hears the distinct sound of someone vomiting. It’s louder than the rest of the sounds she’s heard, which means she must be close. She rounds three more corners, and finally, she sighs in relief when she finds herself at the entrance of a dimly lit room, wherein a tiny little girl sits on the floor, clearly in agony._

_Emma rushes in, quickly kneeling next to the child, who appears to be about 5. She’s got defined cheekbones and blonde hair, and tears are flooding her bright green eyes. It can’t be Leia, but the way Emma’s heart clenches makes her feel like it could be. Or, if not Leia, perhaps a future child of her and Killian’s? She feels a strong connection to this poor little soul, who is sobbing and coughing and is clearly ill. Vomit coats the front of her ripped plaid shirt and her whole face is red, as though she’s running a fever. Emma has an overwhelming desire to help this little girl, and she knows that if Killian were here, so would he._

_“What’s your name, sweetheart?” she asks, in a tone usually reserved only for Leia. The little girl looks up toward her, but her little green-eyed stare seems to go through her. She doesn’t answer._

_“I’m sorry you’re so sick, honey. I’m going to clean you up and take care of you, okay? Here, come here,” she says softly, extending her arms._

_What shocks her is instead of coming to coil around the child, Emma’s outstretched arms hit an invisible barrier, her palms coming in contact with a cold panel of glass. The little girl starts to throw up again, and Emma bangs on the glass, desperate to rid of it. The little girl’s coughing doubles in volume, and suddenly Emma realizes that she herself is coughing also. With a start she realizes that her_ **_own_ ** _clothes are covered in vomit, and that her palms against the glass — no, **the mirror** — are too small to be her own… **aren’t they?**_

Emma wakes up then, gasping and sweating, sitting up in bed. The strong emotions she’d felt during the nightmare are still there, and she feels hot tears slip down her cheeks. She spies the flashing clock and whimpers, groping desperately toward where Killian should be. She feels more tears well in her eyes when she realizes that his side of the bed is empty. ** _Again._**

***

“I could help you,” Killian muses, and Henry quirks an eyebrow. “Use my hook to help you carve something. Ladies love that sort of—“

Suddenly, Emma’s hurried footsteps fall into earshot, and both boys turn their heads toward the stairs. She’s moving so fast that all they see of her descent is a brief flash of golden blur. Killian stands instinctively, grateful that Henry has Leia at the moment and his hands are therefore free. He rounds the couch with barely enough time left to open his arms before Emma practically **_crashes_** into him, her own arms wrapping tightly around his torso.

Killian is more than alarmed as he grabs hold of her, keeping her steady. “Hey, hey, hey,” he murmurs worriedly, reciprocating the tightness of the hold she has on him, “Emma, darling, what’s happened?” He feels her shake against him, letting out a soft hiccuping noise. “Emma, are you crying? Are you alright? Come here, love.”

Killian walks backwards into the kitchen, dragging her along with him. He’s nearly paralyzed with worry, but he fights against it. He pulls back from Emma and tries to set her down on a kitchen chair so he can look her over for injuries, but she shakes her head wildly, clinging to him tighter. “I just need you to hold me for a minute,” she begs, her voice cracking. “Hold me, Killian. Please. **_I just need you._** ”

Killian’s mind is racing, but he obliges her instantly. “Okay. Okay, sweetheart. I can do that,” he soothes her, leaning down to scoop her properly into his arms. Keeping a tight hold on her, he gently rests her on top of the kitchen table, which aligns her torso with his own perfectly.  She wraps her legs around his waist, coiling her arms around his neck. “I’m right here, Emma. Just try to calm down, love. I’m holding you, it’s alright. **_I’m right here._** ”

Emma nuzzles her face against his cheek, pressing her body into his, and one of her hands is clutching his hair so tightly he fears she’ll yank most of it out. He grasps her firmly with both arms, making sure she can tell he’s got her. He looks over Emma’s shoulder and exchanges a worried glance with Henry, who is just as perplexed as he is.

Killian threads his fingers through Emma’s hair, rubbing her head with slow, gentle fingers. He can feel her sweeping her nose back and forth against his stubble, and he’s desperate to get something out of her but at the same time, doesn’t want to push her before she’s ready to talk. From the couch, Leia makes a contented little sound, and hearing it seems to calm Emma down a little.

After a few more minutes of silence, Emma takes a deep breath, and utters words that make everyone even more confused.

“ ** _I’m just so happy,_** ” she puffs out against his neck, and Killian’s brow furrows twice as deeply as it already has.

“ ** _….happy?_** ” he asks incredulously, nudging her with his cheek so she looks up into his eyes. “Then why on earth are you crying, darling?”

She looks up at him sadly. “Because I went my **_whole life_** without a family. I just had this awful dream about this tiny little girl, and she was all alone and she was crying and throwing up and I just wanted to hold her and give her a warm bath, but there was a wall between us…and then I figured out it that it wasn’t a wall, it was a mirror. It was **_me_**. Not one person ever cared if I was sick. I remember one time, I got locked in the bathroom with puke all over my clothes and the only thing I could think to do was take them off and lie down on the freezing cold tile floor. I was five.”

Killian is listening intently, completely horrified by this tale. He shakes his head in horror, stroking her wet cheek gently with his knuckles. He tries to prevent his mind from wandering, but he can’t; and suddenly all he can see in his mind is a five-year-old Leia, having to try and cope with something like that all by herself…it nearly knocks the wind out of him.

“Oh, Emma,” he whispers, tightening his hold, hugging her against his chest. “I can’t even imagine, darling. I’m so, truly sorry. It horrifies me every day that there was once a time you felt you weren’t loved.”

She’s still staring up at him. “I know,” she agrees, but he can tell she’s gaining some composure, her tone strengthening.  "But now **_I do_** have a family. And even more importantly, Leia has one. She’ll never feel unwanted or alone like we did. She has a mother and a father and an amazing big brother who all make sure she knows how loved she is. She will never, ever get locked in a bathroom with puke all over her clothes. And that just makes me so, **_so happy._** ”

Killian smiles at her, despite the large lump present in his throat. He attempts to speak around it, his fingers scratching lightly at her back. “She’s a very lucky little lass,” he agrees, tilting his chin toward her and Henry. “And she’s got a big brother with better ears than we have.”

Emma sniffles, straightening from where she’s slumped against Killian’s chest so that she can turn and look at her kids. Henry is staring down lovingly at Leia, rubbing his hand over the heating pad against her tummy in soothing circles. He’s doing a great job pretending he wasn’t just privy to his mother’s huge emotional outburst. “What happened?” she asks, suddenly curious as to how all three of them ended up down here.

“The power must’ve flickered because the monitor wasn’t on. I went to check on Leia, and when she wasn’t there, I—“

Emma cuts off his story with an unexpected laugh. “—came barrelling down the stairs and almost skewered Henry with your hook?” she jokes, knowing him too well.

“Basically!” Henry shouts from the living room, and Killian huffs, embarrassed.

“Actually, my hook was on the nightstand,” Killian mumbles, and Emma bites her lip with a smile at his serious tone. “I was just…. going to grab a knife.”

The three of them all laugh then, and Leia makes happy noises along with them. Emma’s glad to have her terrible nightmares chased away by her favourite people. She turns back to Killian, kissing him chastely. **_“I love you,”_** she whispers, giving him a tight hug before hopping down from the table and heading toward the couch. Killian follows her.

Leia waves at Emma happily when she notices her approach. Emma takes a deep breath, readying her animated voice. “What are you doing up, you stinky little duckling? Is Henry waiting on you? How come you so wide awake??? Oh, **_look_** at those pretty green eyes of yours.”

Leia giggles and Emma reaches to take her from Henry. Emma goes right for the baby’s cheeks, kissing them repeatedly. “Ohh, I love this munchkin!” Emma exclaims, tickling Leia’s neck with her lips. Leia laughs so hard she can barely get her breath, and when she sees Killian behind Emma, she whines and her arms go flailing toward him.

Emma keeps up her animated baby voice, despite being nuzzled against the baby’s neck. “Oh, do you want Daddy? **_Of course_** you want Daddy. You always want your daddy. Why do you always steal Daddy from me at night, Leia? _Hmmm??_ Okay, okay.”

Emma kisses her once more before she surrenders the biggest daddy’s girl in the world to Killian, who is still chuckling. Emma watches Leia nestle herself comfortably in what used to be **_her_** spot against his neck. She just shakes her head, smiling as she flops down on the couch next to Henry. They share a quiet look for a moment, an unspoken apology from Emma and an unspoken expression of love and support from Henry. She can’t resist the urge to hug her teenage son, so she pulls him against her side, even though he’s basically as big as she is. Killian sits down on Emma’s other side, Leia tucked snugly under his chin. Of course, she’s asleep already. It’s no secret to any of them that Leia feels safest in Killian’s arms.

Still with Henry pulled against her, Emma leans toward Killian, resting her cheek on his shoulder so that her mouth is level with Leia’s ear. “ ** _See_** , Princess Leia?” Emma whispers, well aware that her words won’t slip past Killian and Henry. “This is what it’s like to belong somewhere. Isn’t it so nice? This is your home, little love. **_This is your family._** ”

**And that was the ninth time.**


	10. The Tenth Time It Happened

The tenth time it happens, Killian does it because he feels guilty. Emma wakes in the night, and upon finding the sheets beside her empty and cold, she yawns and groggily gets out of bed. Leia turned one three weeks ago, so it’s been quite some time since Emma has had to rouse in the middle of the night. (Secretly, a part of her misses the middle-of-the-night feedings, but she would never dare tell Killian such. He’d have her pregnant immediately.)

At first, as she begins to walk to Leia’s room, she can’t figure out what might’ve made Killian take this journey. But then, as she nears the room and she gains a little more consciousness, the events of the day come back to her and she can easily deduce why he’s there. When Emma quietly opens the door she’s met with the adorable sight of Killian swaying with Leia, her body slumped against his bare chest. His arms are folded underneath Leia’s bottom, her little legs dangling around his waist. Her head is tucked snugly under his chin, and Emma finds herself mildly struck by the fact that her once-tiny daughter now spans nearly the entire length of her husband’s torso.

“When did she get so **_big?_** ” Emma whispers, gaining Killian’s attention as she tiptoes over to the two of them.

“I don’t even want to talk about it,” Killian grumbles, shaking his head. “It feels like just yesterday her head was no bigger than my fist.”

Emma tilts her head, smiling comfortingly at him. She knows the idea of Leia growing up is Killian’s current mortal enemy. “How’re the knees?” she asks gently.

“Still red and painful-looking. Not scabbing up yet. I still wish you’d heal them,” he says, and Emma can feel the hurt in his tone. She gets closer, taking hold of Leia’s toes so she can inspect one of her two scraped knees.

“Killian, it’s really not too bad,” she assures him, although she suspects her words will go in one ear and out the other. “Kids scrape their knees all the time. And if she was in that much pain, she wouldn’t be sleeping as soundly as she is. Yeah, if she had broken her leg, I maybe would’ve used some magic to fix it. But she can handle scraped knees. Isn’t that right, little duckling? Yeah, you’re okay. Such a brave little daddy’s girl you are, huh?”

Killian sighs, knowing his wife is right but still feeling guilty all the same. Leia had begun walking a week ago, her parents completely enamoured by the way she teeters around on her chubby, tiny legs. That afternoon, Killian had taken Leia and Henry out for a sail on the Jolly. A particularly large wave had made Leia lose her balance, and she’d fallen, scraping both her knees raw. They’d bled and she’d cried and Killian had overreacted when it happened and still blames himself for the entire event, despite Emma’s multiple reassurances that it was in fact, no one’s fault.  

“I just **_hate it_** when she hurts,” Killian whispers, and Emma bites her lip, reaching up to brush Killian’s dark hair back, away from his pouty blue eyes.

“I know you do,” she tells him, releasing the strands of his hair so she can cup his cheek in her hand, “it’s one of the many things I love about you.”

Killian blinks at her, and his face softens all of a sudden, radiating warmth at her. “I love you **_so much_** , Emma. Do you know that?”

Emma scrunches her face up at him, but smiles all the same. “ ** _Of course_** I know that. How could you think I don’t know that, doofus?”

Killian shrugs. “Well this…year has just been, well…what with this perfect little person showing up in the world, sometimes I just worry that I’m giving her… ** _too much_** of my attention. I…I don’t know how to do this. Hell, it’s been more than a year, and still she scrapes her knees and I get scared to death. Some days I feel like she has my whole entire heart, and even though I love that feeling, I never want **_you_** to ever feel like—“

Emma shakes her head violently at him, sliding her hand from his cheek to the back of his neck so she can haul his face closer to hers. She presses her lips against his with fervour, still shaking her head as she does so. When she pulls away she rests her forehead against his. “Hey. I need you to listen to me, okay? You are doing amazing, Killian. **_Amazing._** You are quite possibly the most wonderful father in the entire world. And never, ever, think that you aren’t doing enough for me. Seeing you with that little girl is all that I need.”

Killian smiles gratefully at her, her words doing wonders for his aching soul. He’d felt this way for a little while now, and he was glad to have gotten his feelings off his chest.

“Can I hold her?” Emma asks him tentatively, rubbing the back of her hand against Leia’s cheek.

Killian chuckles. “Only if you join me in the rocker, so I can hold you both.”

“Deal, pirate.”

Carefully, Killian transfers Leia into Emma’s arms. The little girl stirs a wee bit, one of her pudgy hands coming up to fist itself into Emma’s hair, and Emma nuzzles her face against Leia’s forehead. “Mumma loves you so much, Leiabear,” she coos quietly, while Killian takes the stuffed animals off the rocking chair to make room for them. “Yes I do. You’re such a cuddle bug, hmm? I guess you get that from me, huh kid?”

“She certainly does,” Killian agrees, beckoning them over. This position is getting more difficult as Leia grows, but they can still manage it, three in the chair. Emma sits sideways on Killian’s lap, his arm wrapped around her back. Leia lays against Emma’s chest, mouth hanging slightly agape.

It’s quiet for a minute. **_(But only for a minute.)_**

“What are we to do when the boys begin to fancy her?” Killian asks suddenly, his tone incredulously horrified.

The question takes Emma by so much surprise that she laughs aloud. “Killian, she’s **_one._** Not twenty-one. You need to chill.”

“Aye, but scraped knees are nothing compared to a broken heart,” he muses, reaching to place a protective hand against his daughter’s back. “How’re we to protect her?”

Emma blows out a big breath, considering what to say. She thought she’d have a few more years before this topic came up. “Well…we’ll just have to teach her to be a good judge of character, and how to avoid being manipulated. And we’ll do our best to raise her to be an independent woman, but one who knows it’s okay to want to find true love. Even then, I can’t promise it’ll never happen, Killian. But if it does, well…she’ll know she has **_us_** to back her up. She’ll know she’ll always have her daddy’s shoulder to cry on if she needs it.”

“Aye, and that she will,” he agrees, scratching at Leia’s back lovingly. Emma stares up at him, momentarily knocked breathless by how much she loves this pillow-soft pirate. Needing to touch him, she raises a hand, letting it come to rest against his neck.

Unexpectedly, unwanted memories hit her like a freight train, as though her fingers against where a scar from Excalibur should be created a portal that led straight back to those days. Emma’s throat goes tight and she flinches violently as she recalls it all: the cut, how it had reappeared too many times, the way she had to watch life drain from her true love, over and over…she remembers how she tried to heal it, that cut. She remembers thinking, as their foreheads pressed together in the middle of the Camelot forest, that everything was fine.

Boy, had she ever been **_wrong_** about that.

Killian feels Emma’s hand begin to tremble against him, and it peels his attention away from Leia. His gaze finds her face, which appears to be far away, and he can just make out tears welling in her evergreen eyes.

“My love,” he says worriedly, reaching up to cover her shaking hand with his own, strong fingers gripping it tightly. “Where’d you go?”

“Ugh, sorry,” Emma whispers, shaking her head, trying to rid her head of her gruesome memories. “I was just…” she trails off, looking up at him still, absorbing every drop of love that pours from his worried expression, “I’m just so glad you’re… ** _here._** With me. With **_us,_** ” she stammers, using her other hand to anchor herself to the little girl sleeping peacefully against her chest. **_Their_** little girl.

Killian exhales sadly, her words and the placement of her hand leading him straight to what’s troubling her.

“Oh, darling,” he says, gentleness thick in his tone, “I’m so sorry. I wish we weren’t burdened with a past that haunts us so.” He urges her closer to him, urges her to lay her ear against his chest, over his beating heart. It’s always what seems to calm her most easily. “But I’m here, Emma,” he promises, kissing her forehead, “Against all odds, maybe. But I’m here, and I’ll never leave you. Either of you.”

Emma nuzzles her cheek against him, simply craving the warmth of him. “That’s why I wouldn’t do it,” she confesses suddenly, mumbling the words against his skin. “Heal her knees.”

Understanding and guilt washes over Killian, and he rubs Emma’s shoulder comfortingly with his hand. “Because of what happened in Camelot,” he whispers, and he feels her nod against him.

“It seemed like after I tried to heal you, everything from then on out just went horribly wrong,” she says with a tight voice. “I couldn’t risk…” she trails off, her gaze falling to rest on Leia.

Killian kisses her forehead again. “No, I understand perfectly, love. I wish you’d told me earlier. I’ve been so hard and salty with you about it, and I—“

“ ** _It’s okay,_** ” she assures him, tilting her head up to quiet him. “You just wanted what was best for her.”

“Aye, we both did, love.”

They lean in simultaneously, the kiss a fatigued dance of lips and tongue. When they break away, Leia wiggles in her sleep, and they both smile.

“I love her so bloody much,” Killian says, in a tone that almost mimics frustration.

“ ** _I know_** , right?” Emma agrees, running her fingers through Leia’s mess of dark curls. “Our little Leia munchkin.”

“Our little walking Leia munchkin,” he corrects, and Emma giggles, wiggling her legs off of Killian’s lap and hauling herself to a stand. Killian gets up after Emma, coming to stand behind her while she lowers their one year-old back into her crib. Carefully Emma places Leia on her back, her little arms and legs sprawled out in all directions, just like always. Killian stares at her knees again, but with somewhat of a new perspective. Emma doesn’t miss it. She’s suddenly overcome with the love she has for the two human beings next to her, and, **_well_** …what the hell. She can’t help herself.

“Here, **_come here_** ,” she says, her tone a type of happy exasperation. She grabs hold of Killian’s wrist with her hand, dragging it down over the railing of the crib, stopping her tugging when his large hand is hovering over Leia’s lower half. Killian feels the magic even before he sees the glow, but still, he watches in fascination as the angry red marks on his little love’s legs vanish, leaving her good as new.

Emma can’t help but roll her eyes at his amazed, delighted expression. “Better?” she teases him.

Killian bites his lip and nods at her, spinning her toward him so he can pepper kisses against the side of her face. Emma giggles incessantly, playfully trying to wiggle her face away from his lips.

“Now that she’s **_all better_** , you can take her to the park tomorrow, so she can find a little boy to marry,” Emma goads him, and he growls and shakes his head, scratching her with his stubble.

 ** _“No boys!”_** he declares sternly, and Emma captures his lips with hers, wrapping her arms around his neck. He sways them, gripping her hard, tight enough for her to know how much she’s loved.

“Just Daddy?” Emma says in her playful tone, pressed cheek to cheek with him, both of them watching Leia’s chest rise and fall.

“Aye. **_Just Daddy._** ”

**And that was the tenth time.**


	11. The Eleventh Time It Happened (Part 1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Time it Happened was just too fluffy and long for one post so it’s a 2 parter! This part of the story is so special to me that I refused to post it until I felt it was just right. It’s a big thing for me because this part basically opens the door to the 993923840234 fluffy fics I plan to write in conjunction to this story.

The eleventh time it happens, Killian is fuelled by a mixture of excitement, and well… ** _fear._** It’s harder than usual to extricate himself from he and Emma’s bed, because he’d opted to hold her extra close tonight. Slowly and gently he untangles their limbs, unable to ignore the nagging feeling in his belly that seems to do nothing but order him to creep down the hallway. When he opens Leia’s bedroom door, he can’t help but chuckle to himself. Leia is three years old, and she’d outgrown her crib some time ago. In its place is a **_gigantic_**  Jolly Roger-shaped bed, complete with yellow and navy trim. Leia had begged for it, and although Emma usually doesn’t use her magic to conjure material things (she thinks it’s brutally unfair, and that one should have to earn things if they want them) she’d made an exception, just the one time. It’s colossally ginormous, resembles the real ship uncannily, and Leia looks tiny in it. (Just the way Killian likes her to look.)

He crosses the room to the side of the ship and climbs aboard, gently moving his daughter over to make enough room beside her. Leia wiggles as Killian pulls her against his side, and she surprises him by nuzzling into him, raising her little hand to tickle at his stubble. He hadn’t meant to rouse her from sleep.

“You okay, Daddy?” she squeaks quietly, nestling her head on his chest.

Killian feels his heart clench at his little love’s words. Even when she’s three quarters of the way asleep, she still finds it in her to be concerned for him.

“Aye, my darling,” he assures her, rubbing at her back with the blunted end of his left arm.

“Just miss Weia a bit?”

Killian chuckles, placing a soft kiss in her messy dark hair. “Something like that, sweetheart. Now, go on back to sleep, love. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Leia yawns, finishing up the patterns she was tracing on her father’s cheek before letting her hand go slack against his neck. “I w-ove you so much, Daddy.”

Killian tightens his hold on her instinctively. “And I you, my littlest love,” he whispers, resting his chin gently atop her head.

In less than a minute Leia’s asleep again, her little breaths deep and even against his chest. Killian tries to just focus on her breathing, but it doesn’t take long for his mind to start wandering, that mixture of excitement and fear bubbling back to the surface of his thoughts.

*

_Emma had shown up at the docks that very morning, quite unexpectedly, just before he and Leia had set off for their morning sail. At first, upon seeing her, he was worried; she’d said this morning that she was leaving for work, and seeing her in the midst of a work day usually meant there was a crisis. But upon closer inspection he found that she was beaming, a smile so wide it threatened to fracture her cheekbones. They locked eyes and he felt his heart stutter, overcome by how much he utterly adored her._

_**“Mummy!”** Leia squealed, darting across the deck of the ship toward Emma. _

_**“Leia!”** Emma echoed, still smiling, jumping from the dock to the deck just as Leia reached her. Killian watched reverently as Emma scooped Leia up into her arms, nibbling at her neck playfully. Leia laughed and wriggled, trying to bat Emma’s face away but failing miserably. _

_“What…are…you…doing…Mummy!” Leia panted between giggles. Killian stepped closer to his girls, eyes trained on Emma’s face, awaiting her answer._

_Emma ceased her attack, pausing for a second to let Leia catch her breath before she said, quite seriously, “I needed to tell you and Daddy something. I thought I could wait until dinnertime, but I just.. **.couldn’t.** ” _

_Leia’s eyes widened in curiosity, and she placed her hands against Emma’s cheeks, hilariously staring her down. “What, Mummy?”_

_Killian watches as Emma takes a breath, and then she makes this **face**. Her nose gets all scrunched up and the lines beside her eyes crinkle but at the same time she’s smiling but her forehead has lines on it as though she’s nervous and suddenly, Killian feels like his heart is going to explode because he’s seen this face before. _

_**Once** before. _

_“I…” Emma starts, but before she can even say anything else Killian surges forward, almost involuntarily. He wraps his hooked arm around them both but using his good hand, he yanks Emma’s shirt up above her belly button, pressing his large hand against the creamy skin of her belly, against where he **knows** there is a life that they created. _

_**“Emma,”** he breathes, his eyes gone watery, his voice thick. _

_Emma’s jaw drops in shock, thrown off by the fact that he basically beat her to the punch. Her breath catches in her throat when she takes in her husband’s awed expression of wonder and everything she’d rehearsed in the car just flies out the window. She can do nothing but nod encouragingly at him, pressing her hand over where his lies against her skin._

_The smile on his face is one for the ages, and for once her pirate is simply speechless, tears hovering in his eyes. He surges forward to capture her lips with his own, his heart fuller than it’s ever been in all his many years._

_“Mummy! Daddy!” Leia humphs in an exasperated tone, “What are you **kissing** about?”_

_Killian retracts his mouth from Emma’s immediately. He’d almost forgotten his little girl was even present. He looks to Emma again and she gives him silent permission to be the one to break the news. (She knows in these few seconds he’s planned it out better than she ever could)._

_“Come here my littlest love,” he beckons, taking his hand from Emma’s tummy to hold his arms out for her. Leia goes to him willingly, her little nose scrunched up in utter confusion.  He crouches down so they’re eye level with Emma’s belly button, and he puts his hand back where it had been. Leia copies him with her own little palm, her touch so soft and tickly that Emma almost involuntarily steps back._

_“Mummy’s got a wee lad or lass in there, Leia,” Killian explains reverently, and Emma bites her lip to keep from laughing at the way Leia’s eyes widen to resemble tea saucers. “You’re going to be a big sister, my love.”_

_“Really? In your **tummy** , Mummy?!”_

_Emma laughs at Leia’s bewildered expression. “That’s right, kid. You used to be in there too.”_

_Leia is quiet for a minute, absorbing this intriguing information. After the beat of silence she lets out an amazed, **“Wow.”**_

_Killian chuckles. “Wow indeed, little love,” he agrees, placing a kiss on Emma’s belly button. Leia copies him dutifully, just like always._

_“Can the baby feel our kisses?” she asks._

_“Probably not. It’s too small right now,” he explains._

_“Can the baby hear us?”_

_Killian’s eyebrows knit together, forgetting just when babies can start hearing in the womb._

_“Not yet,” Emma fills in, “but soon. You used to get so excited in my tummy when Daddy would tell you stories.”_

_“Because Daddy’s stories are the best?”_

_Emma bites her lip to keep from laughing at her bluntness. “Yes, sweetheart.”_

_“Have you been to see the doctor, my love? Is everything alright?” Killian asks, a hint of concern laced in his tone. He’d been anxious through Emma’s entire pregnancy with Leia, terrified that something would go wrong._

_Emma trips over her words a bit, but manages to answer his question. “I—yes,” she tells him, and his brows furrow at the way she stammers the words. “Everything’s perfectly fine.”_

_“Mommy?” Leia asks hesitantly, interrupting her parents’ exchange. “Do you think the baby would like to go sailing?”_

_Emma reaches to comb her fingers through her daughter’s soft hair, thinking about the colossal changes to come in their lives, and how she’s sure her little duckling will handle it with ease and maturity. “Why **yes** , Leia Swan-Jones,” Emma sing-songs. “I think the baby would **love** that.” _

*

Now, as Killian lays with his tiny daughter in his arms, he can’t help but worry. It isn’t that he isn’t ready to become a father again — hell, he’d been bothering Emma since Leia was **_a month_** old —it’s just…. ** _Leia_**. Leia has been the keeper of his heart for the past 3 years. She’s his every thought, his every smile. She’s used to having him all to herself; whenever they’re together, she has his full and undivided attention. She’s his tried and true first mate, his little girl. How will she be affected by the fact that his heart now rests in two pieces instead of entirely with her? While on the one hand he’s bursting at the seams with joy that she’ll have a little brother or sister, he can’t help but wonder if it’ll prove to be a difficult adjustment for his Leia. Entranced by his thoughts, Killian fails to hear the patter of Emma’s feet coming down the hall or the sound of her breathing just outside Leia’s doorway.

When Emma had awoke alone in her bed, she wasn’t surprised in the slightest. She’d **_known_** Killian would get like this, would stew about what a new baby would do to his relationship with Leia. She hadn’t really expected it to be **_the night_** she told him of her new pregnancy, but in hindsight, she figures she should have expected it to be that way. Yes. She’d anticipated his fear, one that she’d have to smooth out with soft fingers and loving assurances that they could do this, that Leia would be fine, and that their growing family would be perfect in all imaginable ways.

What she had not anticipated however, was the way her heart was ** _racing_** at a million miles an hour. She had not anticipated sitting on a life-altering secret all day long, but for some reason, **_she had_**. She’d rehearsed it all perfectly in the car — ** _three times through,_** to be exact —but then she’d gotten to the docks, and the way Killian had just **_known_** , and yanked her shirt up, and lit up like a Christmas tree…he’d stolen her breath. And her very, very important words, too.

But she needs to say them now. He deserves to know the truth. _Comfort him, then tell him_ , she mentally chants to herself. _Comfort him, then tell him._ With one last deep breath, she pushes Leia’s door open and tiptoes over to the side of the giant ship-bed.

“Hey,” Emma whispers gently, sitting down on the edge of Jolly-look-a-like. “Is there room for…us?” she stumbles over the silly sentence.

Killian smiles at her warmly, though she could see the many emotions in his head swimming in his shiny blue eyes. “Of course my loves,” he whispers, shuffling over so there’s more than enough room for Emma to lay next to him, “Have you **_seen_** the size of this bed?”

Emma giggles, tucking herself in against his side, leaning her head against his vacant left pectoral muscle. (The right one was serving as Leia’s pillow, of course.) Once she’s settled, she tilts her chin upwards, kissing the scruff on the side of Killian’s frowning face.

“Talk to me, Daddy,” she prompted, nuzzling at him, “I’m right here.”

Killian did a big exhale, knowing she could all but read his mind.

“What if she doesn’t like being a big sister?” he begins.

“We both know she **_loves_** babies. Remember when Elsa came to visit? She could not get enough of baby Finnley.”

Killian scratches at his ear, fondly remembering how much Leia had loved to hold Elsa’s newborn son.

“What if she gets angry because our sword fight is cut short by the cries of the wee one?”

“Killian, she’s the sweetest person on this planet. I doubt she’d get angry at all. And if she does, well…she’ll get over it. She’ll get **_used_** to it. She’s a big girl,” Emma soothes him, reaching up to card her fingers through his thick dark locks.

“Aye, I know she is,” he says, his voice quieter, sadder. He knows everything Emma’s saying is true. But his heart still… ** _hurts._**

 _“Hey, hey,_ ” Emma tries again, cupping his jaw with her palm. “When they—I mean, when the baby gets here, it’ll be messy for a while. But then it will all fall into place. We’ll figure it out. Just like we figured things out when she was born. We’ll get a routine down and everything will be perfect. She’ll **_never_**  feel any less loved than she feels right now.  I promise, okay?”

Killian looks at her with eyes that trust, and his jaw unclenches as he tries to relax. But then Leia wiggles a bit against his side, and his breath catches at the tiny movement. A beat of silence passes before Killian utters a sentence that threatens to tear Emma right up into pieces. “She…won’t be my littlest love anymore,” he whispers.

 _Oh, ow, ow. There it is._ “Oh, **_Killian,_** ” Emma curls further into him, securing her arms around him and leaning up to dust kisses against his cheek. “ ** _Yes she will,_** babe. Yes she will. She will always fit right there against your chest and she will never tire of your hour-long bedtime stories or your scratchy kisses. She’s not going anywhere, Daddy. **_It’s going to be okay._** ”

Killian sighs at her words, letting them wrap him up in her love. He leans for her and her lips are ready for his, pressing softly and comfortingly so as to effectively extinguish his pain. Emma’s kiss and the feeling of Leia’s weight on his chest strengthens him and makes him steady. Emma’s absolutely right. This is going to be fine. **_Perfect_** , even. How silly of him to worry that it might be anything less. When he breaks the kiss it’s with a wide smile, and when he backs up to see what he expects will be **_Emma’s_** smile, he’s taken aback by the fact that her expression doesn’t mirror his at all. Suddenly she looks… ** _worried?_**

His brow furrows in confusion. She’d just done a spectacular job quelling all of his uncertainties, and now she looks as though she has some of her own. “What is it, darling?” he asks, reaching his arm awkwardly all the way over Leia to brush Emma’s hair out of her face. “Talk to me.”

Emma’s expression is so hesitant that Killian’s heart starts to pick up its pace. She opens her mouth to speak, but then he watches her eyes dart from his face to where Leia sleeps peacefully against him. **_“Not here,”_** she decides, unwinding herself from his grip so she can stand up from Leia’s bed. Killian’s eyes widen in confusion and slight fear, and he makes quick work of getting Leia off his chest and settled under her covers. With a quick kiss to Leia’s hair he darts after Emma, who has left Leia’s room and headed back out to the hallway. He rushes to catch up with her, and grabs her wrist just as she’s about to open the door to their master bedroom. With a hard pull he spins her, and that’s when he notices she’s got one hand curled over her abdomen. His eyes dart from that to her face, which is still housing a worried, nervous expression.

Killian drops her wrist, all the blood draining from his face as he tries and fails to stop his expression from twisting into one of terror. “Emma, **_the baby,_** ” he whispers, feeling tears spring to the corners of his eyes, his gaze locked on the hand that’s cradling her tummy. “ ** _Please, god_** , tell me there’s nothing—”

Suddenly something in Emma snaps as she realizes how this must look to him. Her nervous expression, her hand where she had it. She shakes her head wildly and surges forward to hug him, words tumbling out of her mouth in her most apologetic tone. “ ** _No no no no no_** , there’s nothing wrong,” she assures him quickly, and she hears him exhale loudly in obvious relief and she feels like a **_terrible witch_** for making him worry like that. “We’re fine Killian, I’m fine. Everything’s fine, there’s nothing wrong. God **_I’m such an idiot,_** I’m sorry. I just have to tell you something, and I was going to tell you earlier but it got messed up, but there is absolutely nothing wrong, I promise. God, I’m so sorry.”

He pulls his head up from her shoulder and stares her down, hand coming to rest where hers had been, over the fabric that covers her belly button. She places one of her hands over his, rubbing at his knuckles. Suddenly she isn’t nervous anymore and she fixes her expression so that she’s smiling.

Killian is a little thrown by this entire situation. “So you’re okay? The baby’s okay?” he confirms, searching her eyes for answers to his many questions.

 ** _“Yes, yes,”_** she assures him, nodding enthusiastically. “Everything’s perfect.”

He crinkles his nose, still confused. “ **Then…what…is it, love?** ”

“Oh, right! I still didn’t tell you. Okay. Shit. Umm. Okay. Let’s go in our room.”

Killian follows his flustered wife into their room, watching as she flicks her wrist to turn on their bedside lamps and reasoning that the pregnancy hormones must already be making her wonky. The clock on his bedside table reads 3:03am, and he figures that this late hour isn’t doing much to help her collect her thoughts. She climbs up onto their bed and he follows her, watching her cross her legs and fidget. He crosses his legs too, and they sit opposite each other for a minute in the quiet.

“Whenever you’re ready, I’m all ears,” he tells her gently, giving her a smile. She’s happy she turned the lights on. She likes life best when she can see his face.

She just gazes at Killian’s face for a minute, watching him watch her. His expression is so soft, so open, so ready to listen to whatever it is she’s about to say. She feels like her heart is going to burst open. She reaches forward, takes his hand and links their fingers.

 ** _“I love you so much,”_** she tells him.

“I love you too, Emma,” he answers in earnest, squeezing her fingers.

She takes another breath. He waits.

“Do you…do you remember when Leia was a baby?” she asks him then.

He’s no idea where she’s going with this, but nevertheless he lets the countless memories wash over him. “How could I ever forget?” he says, almost dreamily.

She can’t help but giggle at his blissed-out expression. How was she nervous before? _This is going to be so much fun!_

“How she was so small?”

“Yes.”

“How she always smelled so yummy?”

“She still does.”

“How you ** _never ever ever ever ever ever shared her with me_**?”

“Ye- **HEY!** ” he says then, eyes narrowing at her. “ ** _What?_** ”

“Oh **_come on_** ,” she teases him. “You were the ultimate baby hog.”

“I was **_not_** , Swan. I always shared!”

“Always is a very strong word, Killian.”

“I…sometimes…shared?”

“Let’s be real here. You only shared when she needed my boob in her face.”

“ ** _Breast_** , Swan. I hate the word boob, it’s so juvenile.”

“Fine. You only shared whenever she needed my **_breast_** in her face.”

Killian sighs in defeat and Emma basically cackles with laughter. “Yes, I remember that too, Swan.”

Emma scoots closer to him, her face still happy but a tiny bit more serious. She rises up onto her knees and leans forward so she can softly kiss his nose. She does it, and he kisses her nose right back.

“Killian,” she says.

“Swan?”

“What if I told you that **_this time_** , we didn’t have to share the baby at all?” she says, her voice only wobbling the tiniest little bit.

Emma braces herself for his reaction, but Killian’s brow simply furrows again. “What do you mean, Swan? Of course I’m going to share the baby with you. Besides, we can’t starve the child. It’ll have to eat some time.”

 ** _“No no, Killian,”_** Emma shakes her head, trying once more. “We won’t have to take turns holding the baby. Because **_you_** will be holding a baby, and…”

She pauses for a second, needing to take one more breath, knowing that the words she says next will effectively change their lives irreversibly. The love of her life just stares at her, nodding his head encouragingly, like he **_always_** does whenever he knows she’s struggling with her words.

Finally, she speaks.

“Because **_you_** will be holding a baby, and **_So. Will. I._** ”


	12. The Eleventh Time It Happened (Part 2/2)

Killian blinks at her three times, utterly dumbfounded.

She gives him a minute, and it feels like she’s watching little cogs and gears work together in his brain to process what the hell she’s saying. She doesn’t blame him. **_This is big._**

When he finally figures out how to make words with his mouth, he starts with just the one.

 ** _“….Two?”_** he half whispers, half screams, reaching weakly for her.

She pulls up her shirt for him, knowing that’s what he wants her to do. He presses his hand there like he’s been doing all day long, but suddenly everything is **_different._** Everything feels different, everything looks different, every thought in his **_entire damn mind…_**

“There’s…two?!” he says again.

“There’s two,” she confirms.

“Like one…but then ** _another one?”_**

“Yes,” Emma giggles.

 ** _“Emma!”_** he shrieks, unable to sit still, jumping up to stand on the bed, his hair nearly brushing the ceiling.

 ** _“I know!”_** she shrieks back, standing up next to him. Thank **_god_** she got them out of Leia’s room. He’d of promptly woken her with his screams.

“How did this **_happen?_** Did I do it? Was it me?”

“ ** _We_** did it,” she giggles, “On this very spot, 9 weeks ago.”

“Bloody gods, **_Emma I…_** ” he’s literally at a loss for words. He can think of nothing but the fact that his wife is currently growing him two new humans. Two little tiny, perfect Leia-look-a-likes. One and then **_two_** and they’re both in there and he **_put_** them there and **_bloody hell_** now he’s crying.

Emma sees his tears falling and she steps forward so she can hug him finally, the weight of the truth lifted from her shoulders. He reciprocates the hug with fervour, laughing through his tears against her ridiculously soft golden waves.

“Are you happy?” she asks him, and he stops nuzzling her and sniffles, moving so they’re nearly nose to nose.

“As if I could be anything **_but_** , my love,” he stammers at her, kissing her forehead. “Are you? Are you okay? Are the… ** _babies_** okay? Gods, that sounds so strange.”

“Yeah, we’re all perfectly okay,” she assures him, taking his hand. “Here, let’s sit down. I’ll tell you everything I know.”

Before he lets her pull him to a sit he lunges forward to kiss her, first her lips and then sporadically all over her face while she giggles for him. “I love you so much, you know that?”

“Pretty sure I’ve got that, yeah,” she jokes, and then they sit. Killian crawls to the pillows and arranges them just so, before shuffling Emma up the bed so she can lean on them. She hums in contentment while he folds her shirt up and nuzzles his face against the soft skin of her belly, pressing soft kisses there.

“Are you angry?” Emma asks suddenly. “Because I didn’t tell you right away?”

“Of course not, my love,” he promises her. “You just needed a little time, I understand.”

Emma smiles down at him, before flourishing her hand to produce the sonogram pictures she’d been given. “Here, look. You can see them really good in the second one.”

Killian takes the pictures from Emma eagerly, shifting so he’s laying with his head in her lap. Emma watches how his eyes squint adorably as he studies the two tiny but distinct little blobs of life.

“So they’re really in there, **_together_**?”

“Yes sir.” 

Killian thumbs at those blobs reverently, completely captivated.

“Will there be room enough for them? To grow as they should?”

Emma groans. “Yeah. And they’ll turn me into an absolute **_whale_** while they’re at it.”

“ ** _Hey, now._** I’ll have no one speaking of my children’s mother that way,” he scolds her, eyes still glued to his precious little blobs.

“Oh, sorry,” she teases him, massaging his scalp.

“Is it dangerous?” he asks her suddenly, his tone worried.

“Hmm?”

“To carry two babies at once,” he asks her, finally tearing his eyes from the sonogram to search her face.

“I…wouldn’t say **_dangerous_** ,” she tells him, twisting some strands of his hair around her fingers while she thinks of how to say it right, “it’s just a little…harder. My back will hurt more and I’ll probably get put on bedrest sooner than last time. And I’ll have to have more appointments than last time, so we can check on them more often. Oh, and we definitely need a different doctor. Kudos to Frankenstein for figuring out we have two, but I think we’ll end his reign there and go for a real doctor in Boston. We’ll have to do some research and find a good one.”

Killian nods at her every sentence, listening intently. Her hand has stilled in his hair and he pulls it down to his mouth so he can kiss her fingers. “Does it **_feel_** different?”

She quirks her mouth, thinking about it. “Not really, not yet. You should’ve seen my face when Whale told me.”

“Why did you go all by yourself?” he asks, remembering that with Leia, she’d peed on a little stick thing and then they’d gone to the doctor together.

“I wanted to surprise you,” she explains, laughing. “I didn’t even take a pregnancy test. I guess that was a little different — I **_felt_** pregnant before I knew I was. My boo-I mean my **_breasts_** hurt.”  

“Are you scared?” he whispers, reaching up to caress the apple of her cheek.

She considers his question, and before answering, turns her head to place a kiss on the middle of his palm.

“Honestly? If I didn’t have you, I would be. Taking care of one baby is hard enough, so I can’t imagine what trying to keep up with two will be like. But **_you_** , Mr. Baby Hog, are the most amazing, hardworking, supportive, loving, selfless husband and father there is. So no. ** _I’m not scared_**.”

For a moment, Killian can do nothing but stare up in wonder at his beautiful, courageous wife. But after that moment he sits up from her lap and leans so he can kiss her, pouring every ounce of the love coursing through his veins into it. Emma responds in kind, tracing her tongue over his fiery lips before slipping it into his mouth. Killian snakes his arms around her and pulls her close, not wanting any space between them. Just as they’re about to get lost in the haze of their passion, though, Emma pulls her head away so she can speak.

“I forgot to tell you the ** _coolest_** part!” she exclaims.

Killian laughs, kissing her neck playfully. “I doubt there could be anything you’ve forgotten that’s more fantastical than the fact that we are getting two babies for the price of one, love.”

“They’re identical, Killian! They’re gunna look exactly the same,” she says proudly.

Killian looks at her in utter disbelief. “I **_beg_** your pardon? Exactly the same? How in heaven’s name will we know which one is which?” he asks in alarm.

Emma shrugs, laughing. “We’re the parents. People say we’ll just know, or something.”

Killian licks his lips, considering this new bit of information. Emma continues on.

“So that means, they’re either two girls or two boys. We can’t find out yet, but I was thinking maybe this time instead of waiting for the birth, we should—“

“Oh, they’re most definitely boys,” Killian says, matter-of-factly.

“Wait, **_what?_** ” Emma says, shaking her head at his blunt statement.

“Oh **_come on_** , Swan. I know these things. How many times did I tell you Leia was a lass?”

“You had a 50-50 chance of being right, Killian. What makes you say they’re boys?”

Killian chuckles at her. “Sorry, love. I just can’t believe we’re using the word **_“they.”_** ”

“Oh god, I know what you mean. This is insane. There’s two people in me. We’re having **_twins_** , Killian.”

They just look at each other for a minute, simply perusing the joy on each other’s faces. Killian’s the one to break the silence.

“I honestly think this is the most marvellous thing I could possibly fathom and I’m **_so_** happy. Bloody hell, woman. **_I love you._** I love making babies with you. We’re so **_good at it!”_**

Emma smiles as widely as her face allows, unable to stop the giggles from erupting at the way Killian’s face looks like he is a kid in the world’s largest candy store. “I love you too. Even though I am going to become a whale shortly and it’s mostly your fault,” she jokes.

“Hush Swan, you’re my whale,” he insists angrily. “Stop insulting my whale. ** _I love my whale._** ”

“Okay, sorry, sorry. Can we sleep now? Any last words, Captain?”

“Can we tell Leia?” Killian begs suddenly.

“What? Of course we can. In the morning,” Emma yawns, suddenly worn out. She starts to work her way under the covers, fixing the pillows so they‘re flat and—

“Can’t we tell her now?” Killian whines, interrupting Emma’s pillow fluffing.

“ ** _Now?_** She’s sleeping, babe. It’s 4 in the morning. We can tell first thing tomorrow, okay?”

Killian puffs out his cheeks, exhaling dramatically. “But… ** _Swan…_** ” he pleads, shoving out his bottom lip at her, making his eyes go all puppy-like. **_“Please?”_**

Emma rolls her eyes at his show, but ultimately can’t deny him anything. “Alright, fine. But you’re gunna carry me all the way to the Jolly Roger, got it?”

“Of course my love!” Killian agrees, jumping up from the bed and scooping Emma up into his arms.

He carries her down the hall back to Leia’s room, setting her down on the Jolly Roger bed next to where Leia is sprawled out under her covers.

He rounds the big bed to the opposite side of the deck, climbing in on Leia’s other side. Just as he’s about to prod her awake though, something gives him pause. As his eyes adjust to the dark of the room, Killian can’t help but stare in awe at his daughter. She’s sleeping **_exactly_** like Emma does; on her belly, hair all askew, one hand near her face, mouth hanging open in a little O shape.

He loves her so fiercely he thinks he might faint.

Emma has climbed under the covers beside Leia, her head nestled on one of the 400 yellow pillows. “You gunna wake her up?” Emma asks him with a yawn. “This whale is fading fast over here.”

“No, love, you’re right,” he says then, swinging his legs under the covers too, “she’s out cold. We’ll tell her in the morning.”

Emma yawns again and nods, pressing a kiss to Leia’s forehead before closing her eyes. Killian gently scoops Leia up, nestling her right back onto his chest, the way she was before Emma effectively turned his whole world upside down with her words. He scoots closer to Emma, wrapping his stumped arm around her and pulling until she’s snuggled against his chest too.

Killian lets a moment of silence go by, just enjoying cuddling with his girls. But he finds that before long, he can’t help but speak again.

 ** _“There are five entire people in this bed,”_** he states, still in awe over everything.  

Emma doesn’t open her eyes, but she smiles against him. “Mhm. Good thing it’s freaking ** _huge._** ”

Killian lets out a breathy laugh before placing a final kiss on Emma’s forehead. “Sleep well, my love. I love you more than words can say.”

“I love you too, Mr. Baby Hog,” Emma says, before almost instantly drifting off to sleep.

Killian closes his eyes, thinking about how grateful he is to call these people his family. Just as he’s about to fall asleep, he feels a little wiggle to his right. Opening his eyes again, he looks down just in time to watch a little hand come up to tickle at his stubble.

“I w-ove you **_so much_** , Daddy,” a little voice tells him.

Killian tightens his grip on his daughter, his heart fuller than it has ever been in all his life.

**_“And I you, my littlest love.”_ **

**And that was the eleventh time.**


End file.
